There are times in my marriage
when I know that I am the better half and he is just a half. Actually most
of the time. This half works with me in the same organization so we are classic
examples of overlooking the existence of each other.
When we are at our
respective homes with parents on vacation, there comes a gap wherein this half gets
frustrated with missing socks, misplaced id cards, laundry that has piled up
like an iceberg on a chair and no one to blame. Meanwhile, my brain
recognizes the absence of a significant other and soothes the body to generate
happy hormones. It is a state of complete bliss and harmony, when one can exist
without being under anyone’s expectation. So this time around, after two weeks
of being on relax mode, he visited me at my place with tickets to the movie
ZERO. First day, first show. Well it’s been a decade with this half so he knows
that Shah Rukh Khan is my first love.
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| Image Courtesy: Here |
Few minutes in the first half of
the movie went well. After that, I kept checking my Facebook and found the
likes on my theatre check-in increasing exponentially. I felt elated. The songs
and SRK’s charm were crushed at its prime by Anushka Sharma and her expressions
that literally reached a new level of outrageousness. All my efforts to
overlook her went in vain. The film which had picked up pace initially, was
exploring various degrees of ridiculousness in the second half, by
experimenting with characters, expressions and a story that made absolutely ZERO sense.
The half and the little one who were seated either side of
me, glanced at me whenever SRK came on screen and was like ‘Seriously? You like
THIS guy? THIS GUY? ’. Well, ten years of marital arts makes one a pro in the
art of snubbing. I was holding close to my heart the Shah Rukh of DDLJ who
scripted in rock, the qualities of the ultimate romantic hero. I was not going
to give up on my SRK for these two judgmental creatures whose taste in movie
heroes were comparable to that of a goat.
However, I secretly wished in my
heart that SRK did not do this film. Or Jab Harry Met Sejal. Or Jab Tak Hai
Jaan when Jesus was one of the characters – that would have been a horrifying experience even for Jesus.
The half got tired of rolling
eyes at me and went to sleep. SRK and Anushka started conversing from space
shuttles. R Madhavan made an appearance and I felt sorry for that guy as well. In
a decade, from standing tall in ‘Three Idiots’, he fell into a pit deeper than the Pacific
Ocean. That was the real ten year
challenge, guys.
Later, the reviews of ZERO were
out on every platform, where movie reviewers blatantly awarded zero stars and
wrote the meanest of feedback about the movie. My check-in on Facebook,
captioned “first day first show”, shamelessly in caps, was still out there,
nowhere to run for cover. People were now probably clicking sarcastic likes on
my post and I could actually hear them roaring in laughter. Well, now the damage was done and there was no coming back. If I took down the post, I could've invited my mean
friends to have a field day at my expense.
Moral:
Checking in on Facebook is
injurious to health. Please read the review carefully before posting.
