Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Follow by Example.

Back from a month long vacation in India, my monotonous workplace appeared bland and discolored. When homesickness gripped me, the resolution I made for the New Year flew out of the window. I usually never make resolutions, mostly because I am horrible at following instructions, even my own.

We have a rule of carefully using words while at home. As the little boy has an internal recording button always on, he keeps using the same words as me, even the tone of speech. I want him to be soft spoken and gentle, which is the exact opposite of me. Hence in order to show by example, I have decided to reduce the intensity of violence and decibel level. Going by neighborhood feedback, my voice can be heard two floors below mine; hence the last month was peaceful for them in terms of noise pollution. However, whenever we want to improve, there will be obstacles. Even Adam and Eve had, right? It is when we say no to the snake that we emerge successful. However snakes these days are not as straightforward as the snake from Eden Garden. Today’s snakes are evil backstabbers. Even if you say no to the apple, they will find ways to eradicate every other fruit so we have no choice.

Me, after two glasses of wine.
Image Courtesy: Here

Words like ‘stupid’ ‘idiot’ and ‘bloody fool’ have been frequent in my vocabulary since school days. However, when one becomes a parent, forgetting these are only one of the sacrifices one has to make. To add insult to injury, I met (still meet on a daily basis) more idiots and bloody fools at this stage than ever before. I am therefore left with the only choice of clenching teeth in frustration. Being human that I am, one day I said it and my little one said ‘What is ploody foo ?’. I pretended never to have known that word ever, and said ‘what? Whaaat? Whaatttt? There is no such word’. I know that it is not possible to unlearn any words. I am the bloody fool. I am the mother who taught her kid abusive language. Thank you very much.


In India, there is no way one can live to meet such resolutions. With demonetization in place, every retailer, auto driver, bus conductor will bring out the demon in you. Auto drivers are the worst. When I ask balance to these guys they look at me as if I asked them loan. Arrey, I gave you what your meter showed in red digital numerals, now please give me what is rightfully mine. My money did not fall down from the sky, it was hard-earned by saying yes sir, okay sir (without clenching teeth of course, never never) all year. One auto driver had the audacity to say, ‘Madam, people like you should not even ask for four rupees to a person like me’. From which angle did I look like Nita Ambani to him, I’ll never know. I replied ‘What is four rupees to you, so it is to me’. He laughed. I didn't. That infuriated him further. So now I have to laugh when he laughs? Get ready to have your patience tested my friends. Little boy was watching me speak argumentatively to a driver. This was not going to be an easy resolution. It needed and needs me to change as a person from the inside. This is impossible, as I am set in my ways, and I am not the Dalai Lama types. I am more like Kung Fu Panda. Inner Peace, here I come. Dishoom, dishoom.

Still I am going to try. Whenever I hold the door open for the person behind me, say ‘Thank You’ when I don’t have to, smile, be kind, I am shaping a human. I have to be aware every second, be conscious, and remember that the tiny human cctv is following me everywhere including trial room. What can be more frightening than this? God is watching too.

But God said not to fear humans.

Seriously. I need wine.

13 comments:

  1. Hahaha I was smiling ear to ear while reading this. I probably will have to stay mute in such situations because no matter how much I deal with idiots in a balanced way, I have to come home and vent in the choicest cuss words to feel relaxed. God save me in future :p

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    1. I know right? There is nothing more satisfying than saying the words we love the most ! It is like therapy !

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  2. Oh you are fine! I have Punjabi friends blurting hindi BC, MC in front of their kids! Eventually we all learn :)

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    1. Oh no ! I am an angel then! Ploody foo is okay!

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  3. hmm that was funny, whenever you go out with your kid,you have chance to mould him from this age.so how you deal with people will influence him in future.you should be happy for getting this chance and should use all the intellect you have to groom his behavior. whenever i go out,i have different way to deal with people. autowallahs have same behavior in all cities,so whenever they ask me more,i tell them to go extra kilometres for free,when they say NO,i too tell them that i can't give extra money for free and i don't make money by cheating ,looting people.most of autowallahs have god stickers on their windshield,so i tell them on face that people who don't have guts to lead morally right life pray gods.its a lesson for them and its a way to deal with cheats.i never use abusive language while dealing people. during demonetization , a bank manager irritated me a lot,i did not fight with him,came home and sent a complaint online that he is indulging in unethical and unprofessional practices. next day when i went to bank,i got VIP treatment.its easy and effective to take revenge through online means without abusing and fighting.people are scared of me cuz my online reviews and complaints are very deadly and they can affect their livelihood. thats the only way to deal with frauds and cheats in our society.

    people use cusswords to compensate their helplessness and kids will grow into angry and rude people without much patience when they come across such behavior from parents. when i was kid, my parents were super cool,so i got it from them.

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    1. What you did about that bank manager is good, when people react change does happen. I do not use cusswords, however I lose my cool sooner than my parents.

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  4. You are my stressbuster. Just what I need when I take a break from my hectic mornings.

    On a been there, done that note- actions are more important that words. And as long as you're fighting nincompoops with cuss words. it's okay.

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    1. Thank you Purba ! You made my day!
      :D

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  5. Choosing a positive attitude is at times hard work. I recently heard that being a complainer is another voice for being a victim. I had stop and think about my personal voice. Good job choosng a good attitude.

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    1. Being a complainer, is also the same as self pitying.
      Thank you Grayquill ! Hope you are well. Long time.

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    ReplyDelete