Being Anita!!

Friends at school and their moms call me ‘APC’, which is highly creative nickname, the full form of which I would definitely not want to disclose here, for the horror of being addressed ‘APC’ in the years to come. I’d been the youngest in the family for quite a long time, and during this period, my cousin and sister used to publish my innocent (read ignorant) childish dialogues .They would laugh their lungs out and say those to anyone who visits the house. I would find temporary hideaway behind curtains, mummy’s saree and squeal at the top of my voice. I was a terribly bullied little girl *sob*.

I grew up smarter than them all, and now I have tagged their blunders too and so I’m equipped with enough weapons in case I am quoted or misquoted at family get-togethers or family weddings. My name is often pronounced by elders within double quotes to this day .

Holy Angels was the place err school where I met an absolutely wonderful group of pranksters and soon I became one among them. Birds of a feather. We called ourselves ‘the notorious nine’. But from the mischief’s we got into and the grades we scored, I’m sure we would have earned some other name among teachers…however, we loved being us. The nun at the office room who was snow white in complexion and weighed almost 150 kilos was ‘Giant Panda’ to us, and we collectively forgot her name after we left school (Girls, if you remember, please let me know).Then there were guys at the tuition classes nicknamed Dola (Donkey look-alike), M2 (Man Mountain) …and trillions of censored stuff which remains girly moments of laughter in our great book of blunders. I can go on writing pages on the lighter moments we had at school, but it is reasonable to keep them with myself because, the tendency to write the blunders of others will be more, and triggering people sunk in work to wake up and start blogging about me is potentially dangerous to my image.

After school, I went to college, the dark days of my life, distressing moments which I would rather not remember, as, unlike what college days means to most of u, it is downright catastrophic to me. There is not a moment in it worth recollecting, apart from the fact that I did academically well by the grace of God. All four years at engineering college one good thing that happened to me is my best friend whom I met at my hostel there, and she continues to be the gem she was, till date.

I compensated my college life at the firm I joined at Technopark and had an inexpressibly exciting time there. Now at Bangalore, again with a bunch of big-time fun-to-be-with people, I am comfortable as ever, closer to the Anita I was at school.

I sincerely believe that I wouldn’t have existed in this world if it weren’t for this element called fun. I love all the poor jokes and adore the ones who say them! Who doesn’t, isn’t it? Yeah , I know people who doesn’t enjoy jokes and tag me ‘noisy’. I want to let them know , that life isn’t always fun, but remember, you can create fun from life, only if you want to. Ruling out fun is not the identity of entering into adulthood and it doesn’t mean that you are serious and wise! I love absent minded, fun-loving, noisy, jovial, total blunder packages err people.
Here are tokens of appreciation to you all. 

To the notorious Nine : Love u gals!! You made the best moments of my life so far and I am so lucky to be a part of such a prestigious gang !lol .. As a mark of this evergreen era, I treasure some stuff, which you can associate with..
• navy blue nail polish which we all sported the day after our school described nail polish as violation of discipline
• my uniform shirt which carries all your autographs
• the controversial autograph book of std 12
• countless friendship bands
• innumerable bday and Christmas greetings
• school magazines carrying our group snaps and articles,
• instrument box
• posters of SRK
I treasure these stuffs like jewels.

To my best friend at college: You are my family, I don’t have words to express what you are to me. If it weren’t for you, I would have been a totally different person today, worn out by bad experiences and complexes.

To friends at Technopark: Thank you guys, for being just like the notorious nine..You wiped off my misery of having spent totally freaky days at college. You created a college atmosphere at workplace and I sincerely don’t regret my college days anymore! Thanks a ton for being you..!

To friends at Bangalore : I really look forward to lunch and tea time, and I’m at my noisy best with you guys ! You are so cool and if truth be told, I consider myself lucky to still be in a multitude of like minded individuals!

Thank you all…continue to be what you are..! If you think I am a good human being, it is just because of the roles played by the people I mentioned above, in my life, and the memories about them which I carry. If you think otherwise, please attribute it to me. 

The 'Idiot' Box

Why is TV called the ‘idiot box’ ? Is it because idiots appear in it, or because only idiots watch it? There are no prizes for answering this, as the answer is ‘all of the above’. I am reminded of Kerala entrance type questions which looks more or less like, which came first, egg or chicken?
a. Egg
b. Chicken
c. All of the above
d. None of the above

Sure they expect us to answer that in less than a minute. No wonder my partners in crime and myself scored bigger ranks than anyone else in our school (Obviously, we were watching too much TV). The ever-curious aunties and uncles who are forever in hibernation surprisingly sprung to active mode when the results were published. After all the skin of the Notorious Nine at Holy Angels’ is unyielding competition to the rhinoceros himself.

Coming back to TV, I don’t mind being called an ‘idiot’ for watching it. There are informative channels also...but I really don’t know whether it is available in our package or not.

As I was enjoying a lazy siesta on a Saturday afternoon in my couch flipping channels, I came across some ads and I decided to give them a serious glare.
Rani Mukherji teaches us how to eat Munch Pop chocs. Listen everyone…now don’t follow any other method to eat the chocolate.
The method is… ‘ Open, Take, and Eat..’
Thurakkoo Edukkooo Kazhikkoo…Oh sweet Jesus, what an enlightening piece of information! Does anyone who is reading this, know any other method to eat munch…or leave it…anything for that matter?

Now comes a tea ad. The ABC tea ensures all the idiotic viewers , a happy and stress free life , as, the magical molecules of the tea powder would be relished with the innermost senses and it would guarantee joy and bliss every minute of the day. Oh something bad happened to you today? You must have forgotten to drink ‘ABC’ tea!
I seriously feel, ‘Wherever you go, I am there – Gadha Jam’ makes more sense.

Pythogoras theorem is made remarkably interesting if the teacher uses ‘Tinz’ talcum powder. All these days the students were groaning and bawling under the disturbingly stinking supermodel cum school teacher, who made situations worse with the boring theorems. The talcum powder sure brought a difference to the theorem itself! (Why oh why dint they tell me this earlier? *sob* )

Axx deodorant – Do u, girls out there actually throw yourselves at men who use this deo? By the way, did the creators of this ad think that women have super sensitive sensors?

Here’s the worst of its kind…a typical third rated mallu ad.
Contestant: ’14 aam raavudichathu maanatho kallayi kadavatho….’
Judge: ‘Nannayirunnu mone.. pakshe…14 oo? 17 alle kutta?’
This ad, I tell you, generates in me, an intense urge to bang my head against the wall.

A lady blessed with long and healthy tresses now appears, and detaches a piece of wall with just her hair and walks away proudly. Even the dinosaurs in the Lost World couldn’t accomplish this feat. Kudos to you, young lady! By the way, that was the ad of a shampoo. (This one however, blows up a nightmare of me trying to do what that lady did ,and getting bald during the act).

The axx deodorant comes in a new version, and this time it is a chocolate man walking the streets. Girls at the background screaming, howling, screeching and squealing as if they were deprived of food over the week is visually atrocious. But I made sure that my husband doesn’t use it. ;)

Hey, I am not negatively criticizing the above ads ! Gone are the times when we actually had good ads around, simple and precise ones. Yeah odd ones like these still existed, which made viewers look at each other and smirk. But nowadays imaginative brilliance is wasted, that’s what we actually conclude from such visual ‘threats’. Although Vodafone ads are always on or above a standard, the connection obviously isn’t. But, ads are ads. When I started noticing the ads itself, I knew…it is content for a blog post. From my previous posts it is quite evident that my mind does NOT wander into the loneliness of the sky,counting the odd and damaging moments of life , brood over it, drag myself into traumatic mood swings , and waste my life on it. I believe life is too short, and youth is even shorter for all that, and I believe in ‘live and let live’ concept. Next time I come across some such silly stuff, its again gonna be my blog content! Keep waiting for more nonsense!

MJ...!!

Yesterday I woke up to the news of MJ’s death, and it sent shockwaves down my spine. Legends like him are taken for granted, scandalized and scorned at and mourned upon after death. Many legends like him have had the same fate. Whatever it is , ‘Bad’, ‘Thriller’ and ‘Dangerous’ are the most sought after albums for dance shows even these days, in spite of music albums being released every minute of the day by thousands of artists worldwide. It is hard to realize that he was 50 and fighting cancer, even though he appears supremely energetic and invincible in his music videos and in the back of our minds. MJ was the reason for pop music and ‘break-dance’ as we call it, to become so popular in this part of the world, and he is known among people who don’t know A.R.Rahman. The music and its beats are foot tappers, hip-shakers, stress-busters and whatever one may call it. The world missed his greatest comeback which was scheduled in July at London. If he was alive, it would have been celebrated all around the world; channels broadcasting it live, setting the world rocking away to the tune of his magical performance. I guess the world dint deserve the comeback of the legend. His name is engraved in the history of pop music, dance and in our hearts and will live on forever n ever!!
Love u , MJ!!

Most touching lyrics from one of his best choruses:

There comes a time ..
When we head a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can't go on
Pretending day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
God's great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Send them your heart
So they'll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one..

Illogical Mannerisms..!

Cool Saturday night.Its drizzling outside. I’m alone at home, there is a power failure and I lit a candle in the living room. Sitting comfortably on the couch ,legs stretched enough to accommodate the laptop,I notice the candle shining in the darkness,the flame waving in tune with the cool winds blowing outside...and it reminds me of..….. Florence Nightingale.. ? is it diffusing the ambience of an ever so romantic candlelight dinner.. or are the beams outshining even the celestial beauty of the moonlight, which has been faintly dimmed out by the dark monsoon clouds….?.oh ! are the shadows of the living room objects framing beautiful kaleidoscopic patterns from the beams scattered by the tiny wick of the wax clad candle stand..?..? sorry guys…. When rain falls..I do not get such weird thoughts. I am not that supremely imaginative being. I am just wishing if we could get one emergency lamp like the one we had back at my hometown. And yeah, I am also thinking where the umpteen street dogs next to our apartment would sleep tonight, as its raining heavily now.

Last week, we’d been to the movie, ‘Bhagyadevatha’. I would suggest all Mallus who live outside Kerala to watch this movie, as every scene unfolds picturesque Kuttanad and typical Kerala food. The urge to rush home and book tickets for a vacation at home would be irrepressible after the movie gets over. Visual treat as that one was, the movie has quality, theme, music, good storyline, not-so-brilliant but reasonable plot and granted, you wouldn’t have to wail over the ticket money, cos its worth the watch. Bhagyadevatha had me even shed some tears towards the end…but no! Don’t jump into conclusions that it is a tragedy movie…There is a highly sensitive water works working diligently beneath my eye, 24 X 7.

Tears are my problem..tear glands are probably malfunctioning. I am NOT trying to say that I am very angelic, innocent, and soft hearted. I had seen 6 year olds laughing and leaving the theatre after the movie was over, but I was trying very hard to wipe my tears, cos if anyone had caught me whining and wiping my eyes, it would be the topic of discussion (read humiliation) at family getogethers, and I would be made fun of for the next 150 years. Even today, the Malayalam movie ‘Friends’ was telecasted in Surya. However when I switched on the TV the movie was about to get over, and Mukesh was on his way to Jayaram’s home in Army costumes. Now the melodrama begins and towards the end I find my eyes welled up, shit!! I saw it just for around 10 minutes..and to hell with my tears.

Laughter is another problem for me. Once I catch it, it becomes an enormously difficult task for me to stop. I had one of my tuition-mate guys back at high school pleading with me ,’ Anita, I really want to tell you something… I don’t know if it is hasty, I thought a lot about it… I’d been brooding over it during study hours..and finally, let me tell you, coming up to you to tell this sure takes a lot of guts…” Me : ‘ Whats it?’ He: ‘ *silence*.. don’t laugh like that during class hours..it scares me and most of the guys here’.

Let’s take the example of the Malayalam movie , ‘Godfather’. I am not ashamed to call it one of my favorite movies ever, even though when asked about favorite movies to my friends they usually reply ‘ Die Hard’, ‘Schindler’s List’, ‘Quantum of Solace’ , ‘Matrix’and other hi-fi stuff. Its true that I don’t watch English movies, mainly because I cant concentrate on them. Recently I even tried watching ‘matrix’, but in five minutes I was alarmed at how much the nails on my toes had grown, then I found myself filing my nails, applying nailpolish , and …*snore*. Yeah English movies help me realize when it is time the floor has to be mopped or to go for a pedicure.
Coming back to Godfather, my family remembers me most when it is telecasted on tv. I have seen that movie around 476523 times. But each time, the jokes are fresh and timely, and I laugh like crazy. My Mom has never found an answer as to what is there to laugh so much. Even she knows it scene my scene, dialogue by dialogue.

Now tears and laughter..in short, emotions are in their extremes for me. I wish there was a knob somewhere where I could adjust the sensitivity levels. “Oh, these theatres are so unkept and dusty” followed by a fake sneeze and obviously-practised-with-ease-cough is my usual and most frequent monologue, which happens after every movie, which probably gives an explanation to my friends and family to the redness in the eye …yup the water works is sure getting me embarrassed all the way… Guess I am born with such illogical mannerisms. If I try to change it, would it still be me?