Luxury in the Vicinity.

Image Courtesy: Here

Recently we moved to a new apartment at a different location in the same city. This shift has given me everything I ever wanted, as all I ever wanted was space. However, for all the excellent neighbors, spacious rooms, and proximity to the beach, we did sacrifice some of the basic facilities we had taken for granted over the years.

My new premises is not favorable to anyone who is even remotely absent minded. In my earlier apartment, if I remembered that I dint have curry leaves after I had started sautéing the onions, I could have got them in less than five minutes. The grocery was nearby and this was a huge blessing for a person like me who is not an advocate of the seven habits of highly effective people. Now things are different. Like the other day I was explaining to a friend on phone.

“Listen ..this place could actually force me to be more systematic”

Friend: (Laughs) “As far as I know NOTHING will make you systematic! By the way what makes you say that?”

“Mannnnn there are no grocery shops in the vicinity. I feel jealous of my Mom who has a grocery in her campus and my sister who lives 10 centimeters away from Nilgiris”

Friend: “Then which part of the earth do you live? What did you consider while you zeroed in on this apartment?”

“Bigger wardrobes”

Friend : “You have your priorities straightened out so early in life”

“You are not helping”

Friend: “Then what is there next to your apartment?”

“BMW showroom”

Friend: (Laughs again, now louder and meaner than before). “Well that’s not too bad!”

“Okay you laugh at my misery. Once you finish laughing I would have taken you off my favorite contacts. They wouldn’t even approve my loan for a BMW ”

Friend: (Laughs harder and almost breathless).

I disconnected the call and remembered that there is no milk, eggs or lentils in the house. I am stuck on the sofa like the dosa sticks on the cast iron tawa. One cannot make me move once I am set there, you see. I would have had a long day at office, I work out in the evenings, but after I have freshened up, finished dinner and hit the sofa, I call it a day. Nothing on earth can make me get up and do anything, unless there is fire under the sofa I am sitting on. I do not plan what to wear next day, or what should be for breakfast, nor do I iron the school uniform or sharpen the pencils. No. That’s not how I function.  The next day is practically next day. If I wake up alive I will do everything in my time. Any advice or tips on how to be more productive is strictly prohibited within my boundaries.

Few minutes later the friend called back. Finally! I sighed. I smiled seeing the name on display.

 “Hello?” I grinned.

Friend: “Hi I am calling to ask the price in Oman for the new BMW 8 Coupe. This is the showroom right?”

“Get Lost”.


 

The Unconditional One.

Sometimes, my 8 year old starts his sentences with ‘Amma when YOU become big…”-

“Oh DUDE I am already BIG ! How else do you think I gave birth to you?”

“Amma not like that…when you become bigger…”

“I can’t get any bigger!”

“Amma ! I mean when you have grey hair and all !!”

“Oh you meant older? Yeah that seems possible..”

“Oh MAA now I don’t remember what I was going to say…the FLOW is lost. You ruined it!!!!!”

FLOW it seems. FLOW! I also lost the FLOW when I gave birth to him I wanted to say, but Anita, CONTROL.

‘Good!’ I snapped at him.

Well, I am honestly grateful he did not finish that sentence. I don’t want him to give me things to do when I have grey hair. I am pretty clear that I am not accepting any KPIs from anyone.

Kids can give us brutal reality checks especially when we need it the least. Like the other day I was wearing a skirt and he said ‘Amma your leg looks FAT”

‘I thought you were watching TV” I sarcastically retorted.

“Yes I am, but I saw your dress” said he, assertively, eyes still fixed firmly on the TV screen.

I was flabbergasted to say the least. He did not have eyes at the back or sides when I gave birth to him. Boys, I tell you!

Image Courtesy: Here

To be honest, none of my family members or friends would put that comment on my face. However for me, unsolicited comments are free. He was watching TV and thought that my leg is fat! And, he was not even watching Motu Patlu. This little guy taps my head occasionally to bring me back to reality from the wonderland I usually live in.

The one little guy who is at times extremely clingy, like “Amma this green peas is slipping away! Can you put in my spoon?” and expects me to come from another room to do that. At other times, he says, “This pink dress is so nice, I wanna hug you” and squeezes the life out of me or ‘Ma one popcorn fell inside my pant, what do you think I should do with it?” .

This eagle-eyed dude also remembers what I said two weeks back, at noon precisely at 2:37p.m. I wonder how we can be poles apart on that one. The other day he was referring to something which his teacher said at the PTA meeting, and me being the Queen of absent mindedness, failed to respond positively and he yelled “Just two days ago, Maaa…how can you forget SO SOON? The Central Government will be so pissed with you!

(Social Studies Reference: “The Central Government takes care of the needs and welfare of the people of the country”).

Well he feels that by being so absent minded I am not doing justice to the Central Government. Little does he know that his Mom gets stuck outside her car with keys inside – in a car which boasts of having intelligent key and anti-lock-in features.  He also does not know that this morning I came to office without my laptop as though I came here to plant trees?

End of day, the most critical one is also the coolest one and is also the one that loves me unconditionally. Whatever I do, say, react, mess up, yell, laugh embarrassingly, add too much salt; he still loves me and my tomato chutney.

 

To Laughter, and to Friendship!

It is every parent’s dream to be someone their children look up to, to be their source of inspiration, and a pillar of strength. Well, we failed.

I can explain. One day, his teacher informed that all the students were supposed to submit their most recent passport size photograph for school identity card. Unfortunately for us, all photographs were used for various purposes and digital copies saved in pen drives were missing too. There is this weird thing about pen drives in our house. When we want it, it vanishes into oblivion. However, when we are travelling and our hand baggage goes through the airport scanners, all the pen drives we ever bought in our lifetime miraculously appears out of thin air and places themselves into various little dark corners of the bags. We launched a “pen drive search” operation and pulled out every single thing out of every wardrobe, drawer and shelf like how the Income Tax officials raid wealthy homes in movies. Finally we lost our time and energy trying to find the needle in the haystack and drove to the studio with our home looking like it had been hit by a violent tornado.

At the studio, my son wearing his school uniform looked crisp and cute. Fortunately he dint have to wear his earlier identity card for the photo, as that was also missing. Basically all things are missing except the three of us. He sat on a chair they asked him to, with a white screen behind him. He looked quite smart and gave a very decent smile at the camera. Not a laugh, or a sarcastic grin, just a small decent smile. Meanwhile, we were standing near the camera admiring him and the spouse broke into a wild laughter for no reason. Usually if I crack the most hilarious joke and laugh uncontrollably, he doesn’t budge and stares back at me stone faced. This man couldn’t control his laughter for no apparent reason and as contagious as laughter usually gets, he passed on that crazy laugh to me also. The photographer had other clients waiting and impatiently gestured my son not to smile and look straight at the camera. The poor thing couldn’t put up the serious face he was asked to, however hard he tried, as both his lunatic parents were holding their stomachs and laughing their heads off. 

The photographer had now reached his limits and told us ‘Will you both please leave?”.

We both slowly walked out, laughing louder than we could when we were inside. I actually saw the photographer looking at my son pitifully and he was embarrassed. After the clicks were taken he came outside and asked us: “What was so funny?” Well he got satisfactory answers.

“Ask your Dad”

“Ask your Mom”

Well laughter like such is rare and far between now, but there were times I used to laugh like crazy every day. Those were my school days. That’s where I got this non-stop laughter from. 

I remember a similar incident that happened when I was in the tenth grade, when my friend cracked some stupid joke during class and we started laughing. Then we looked at each other and laughed more. Soon enough we could not control our laughter. Actually the joke is not relevant and surely was not so funny that the laughter which started could not be stopped. Initially the teacher was writing something on the board so we tried to stop it before she turned around, but when she did, tears started coming out of our eyes and it just wouldn’t stop. Inevitably, we landed outside the classroom for the rest of her session, holding our breaths and stomachs with both hands in laughter. Before she sent us outside, she interrogated us with questions like ‘Can you both please explain what is so amusing in this lesson?’ and it was physically impossible for us to form words between our peals of laughter and my friend somehow managed to blurt out ‘ Just… you know… jokes..”.

 “GET OUT BOTH OF YOU!”

Punishments are harmless as long as the Principal was not doing the rounds exactly at that time on that floor. And she wasn’t, so we were saved. I couldn’t begin to think of the consequences if the Principal walked in on us and then we would have to bring our parents all the way to school for the simple mistake of laughing. Explaining to my Mom, who unfortunately is also a teacher, about why we laughed is more horrific than explaining to the Principal. If at all our parents came to school, this laughter episode wouldn’t be the only thing discussed with them so it was a very dangerous situation which had ripple effects. It was indeed a big-time save and a priceless memory.

On Friendship Day, here's to all my school friends and the innumerable memories we created at Holy Angels' Convent. Each and every little incident was a lot of fun, and I cant go down the memory lane of school days without a smile on my lips!

To all the amazing girls who defined what friendship is and trust me, till date, I compare anyone I meet, with you guys and there is absolutely no comparison!  "We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun" dint we !

Thank you girls for being there even today, recreating the magic from different continents. Don’t know what I’d do without all of you !

Happy Friendship Day!

Holy Angels' Convent ISC Batch of 2001

Blessed.

Image Courtesy: Here

It’s been a mind blowing month with myriad surprises. Suddenly a lightning of change flashed across my mundane life like the Sunlight ad, and Tadaaaa !!everything is colorful again! My address has changed. My parents are here, there have been guests, birthdays in the family…and so on and so forth. Packing and moving has squeezed out the last drop of life in me. There was a point when I felt that two hands and  two feet are too less, so I promptly developed a neck sprain and was bedridden.

Sitting aback comfortably on my couch with my little man, a pillow to rest my aching arms and a hot water bottle firmly supporting my neck, a day-off gave me a much-needed break from the stifling pain of shifting.

I was also granted a sick leave(yay!), which in our organization, we get only if we are:

1. Sick.

2. We look reasonably sick.

3. Our stars are aligned. 

4. Prove that we will not request sick leave for the same reason again.

So the stars aligned themselves on the day of The India Pakistan World Cup match. My little man knew most of the players from both teams, and is surprisingly good at the technicalities of the game. He even taught me several aspects of the cricket I never knew before (it is hard to concentrate in the game when one is ogling at Kohli you see ;-) ). As he was religiously explaining I corrected his grammar and he gave me a ‘you thankless creature’ look, but otherwise it was a lovely evening. I was amazed at the mathematical calculations he was effortlessly doing while counting runs in overs and making comparisons and predictions. We had a minor setback when popcorn was served, because he is yet to understand that I am not that Mom who happily distributes the Lions share to the child and starves, being the categorical beacon of sacrifice that motherhood is. I will fight for popcorn with my child and I am not sorry.

It is amazing how much a child can teach us. Now that my son is on his summer vacation, I spend more time with him and I am bowled over by how much he knows about the world around us, and how he always keeps cool as a cucumber! Children are not selfish, and they are not completely selfless either. The toughest thing to do in life is to maintain a delicate balance between these. Children are busy with their own lives and have zero expectations. When I get bothered or unhappy, I reach to my little guy, who not only keeps me on my toes but also keeps me sane. He is bewildered by the very concept that I am pissed because of something that doesn’t really matter. He just doesn’t get it. ‘Stop thinking and deal the cards!’ he says. He is my free therapy.

The Universe has a way to help us deal with difficult situations so that we appreciate the new place, people and everything new that happens to us. We just have to accept change and change accepts us wholeheartedly. Sometimes there are bumpy rides , but rejoice! there is always change, waiting to be embraced.

What can be timelier than celebrating birthday with parents two years in a row? What can be greater than moving to a new and awesome location to stay? What can be more satisfying than finding a hidden talent? What can be better than having friends from school days who never grew up? What can be more amazing than an extra ordinary birthday ?

Blessed is the word. Life is too short to be gloomy.