Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Handling Irritants - A case study.

Day in and day out, one comes across people who know only to irritate and break the hell loose out of the mildest of human beings. I don’t know the intentions behind this category of homo sapiens, but any argument they raise will be futile at all given circumstances. Here are certain tips on how to bring that curve on your lips back, instead of tearing your hair.

Scenario1: You have just got some information from an onsite call, and need to close an urgent ticket within an hour. You rush from the conference room to your workstation, grab a chair and start flipping through screens. Suddenly the irritant appears from nowhere and says, ‘Hey how come you always take my chair’. At the back of your mind you want to bang the chair on his head. But here is the tip. ‘Hey, I am sorry I took your chair, but evidently, I was in a hurry, and have so much work that I couldn’t measure the size and shape of it before sitting on it’.


1. You said sorry and apologized.

2. You have made a point that you are busy, and he is the one making fuss over a chair.

3. You win. He is speechless.

Scenario2: Some girls cannot even stand it, if another wears a new dress, or if they just got married. They also tend to say green-with-jealousy stuff like, ‘So what if that is a new dress.. I had one like that two years back.’ This statement usually gives them heavenly bliss. Another typical statement is, ‘Hi, did I tell you that I have an aunt who looks just like you?’. Boys please stop reading here. Girls, please continue. This is a rather twisted statement. The person who said this obviously couldn’t contain their jealousy at your dress, purse, car, haircut. So they want to attain satisfaction by saying that you look like an aunt. Just immediately say, ‘Is it? I think you have put on so much weight than I saw you last time’. If that was a girl, You Win without leaving any traces of her!

Scenario3: At office irritants can come in the form of managers, Leads, colleagues, subordinates or security guys. Well, just keep smiling and never let it go. There is no way out than to grudge and grumble within, still smile and make a statement outside.

Scenario4: Someone makes fun of you in a totally unreasonable manner. Or even has the courage to say something about you referencing your parents too. You want to kill them on the spot. But don’t.
Tip – Say , ‘My parents taught me not to make fun of others or say a tit-for-tat. Hmm..They had a point’. The rivals may laugh, but here are the advantages.

1. You portray a good image of yourself and your parents and exhibit aristocracy.

2. You say indirectly what their parents taught them ( I love this point ).

3. You win again, as no one has no reason to complain. You dint say anything, right!

Scenario5: Someone makes fun of your appearance, hair, height. If you are married, say, ‘Oh my, how much you care for me…Even my husband/wife dint notice that..!’. This could obviously leave the irritant hunting for words.
If you are unmarried, say, ‘I wish I was perfect, like you’ with a smirk and a laugh. This always works, in all given situations. You always win in this, unless it is Hema Malini or Sridevi who is talking to you.


  1. i guess few pple would have already got that knock on their head while reading this..well they deserved it!!!...Wish they realize how irritating they are...Good going di :)

  2. haaaa1 It's always better to keep our cool rather than blow off the handle:))

  3. well well well...valuable tips...will come handy always...by the way loved scenario 5...hahaha.

  4. i loved the bit about wanting to bang the chair on his head. : ) an i loved scenario 2. sooo true.

  5. @PNA: Yes yes. :)
    @Devi: well, I have used scenario 5 in real life.
    @AGG: I loved the fact that u loved scenario2. It is true to bits.:)

  6. It is good to stand up for ones self...Now for guys, half of what they want is a reaction of any kind. The bigger the reaction the more satisfatction the antagonizer receives.
    As my mother use to say, "Grayquill if you don't have anything good to say don't say anything at all."
    But , then the evil side wants to say, "Do you act this small in front of others? Hmmm...must suck to be you."

  7. well i have only one answer to all of these situations..."meet me outside" ;)

  8. @Grayquill:Not saying anything when there is nothing good to say, is the wisest sentence. Never followed. If anyone followed it ever,I wish, it wouldn't have made me write this one! Well, hats off to ur Mom, Grayquill!

  9. @Blunt Edges: Say 'NO' to violence!