Thursday, December 17, 2009

Was it just arrogance ? Or was there a point..?

It is not the first time that a friend has turned me down. Not the first time someone walked out on me. So it is definitely not the first time that I felt humiliated, but the fact that it was not the first time doesn’t mean that it hurts any less.
 I just wanted everyone in my friends circle to be in a cordial, healthy relationship with me. I can’t turn my back on people at social gatherings or at events. People should be emotionally stable to be able to smile at each other. I can, and I did that. I did an ice breaker talk also, to which an embarrassing smirk and dead silence was the response. At that moment I wanted to stab myself, but I can hardly turn my face away from one single person, if they are part of the crowd of familiar faces that I am with. Anyways, this person who was once a good friend, could hardly  make an eye contact with me. Now this is probably out of guilt of a very depressing kind. I was not at fault, and therefore I could make a move to talk, without the fear of the type of response, and without hesitation of the mildest kind..without even a tiny speck of guilt or regret of any kind pulling me back. I was clear, confident and level headed.
This is the point where one should get an awareness of self respect and dignity to oneself. I realized it at the right time. I have no regrets that I made an attempt to talk. Because years later, when I sit back and flip across my photo albums, I can tell myself that I lost this person from my friends circle with no fault of mine, and it would never give me a reason to regret.
So mister, you are around ten years elder to me, but I guess I am a thousand times wiser than you. Years from now, you will look different, but if you continue to be the small person that you are, it will be a phenomenon of the weirdest kind. Anyways, thank you for whatever you had been long back, I will pray that you grow up soon, and I am sorry, I just shift-deleted you from my memories forever. Take care!

8 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Hmmm i understand how much it hurts! let him realize that hanging on to grudge is not going to lead him any where..its his loss not yours!!! iam sure he will bounce back on you at some point of time..but please be urself that time and i know you wont act like the way he did!! Smile :)

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  3. Nice thought provoking way of delivering some wise words. Sorry if im intruding in ur personal thoughts but i have a point to make here. Is it really possible to shift delete someone from our memories esp when they were good towards us in the past? Well its impossible for me atleast.
    Hmm it really hurts when someone acts so weird but the saddest part is that we cant forget such things in life esp when we are sensitive.
    I wish you to get the strength to forget such things and become happy again.
    Hope the christmas shopping is going on well n im eager to see the pic of ur fluffy Christmas tree...:)

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  4. screw him! shift-deleting was the correct choice!

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  5. @Vineeta: Hmm..yup I will never act like the way he did ...as you said. And if i do, what is the difference between me and him?

    @Asif Shaik: It was not like he was my best friend or something. Just a friend. Now in a different firm, diferent state. Out of sight is out of mind , isn't it? I just dont miss him at all ...I can shift delete such people actually...
    and you are right...its difficult to shift delete best friends or people who mattered to us..we can delete them...but they remain in recycle bin..and can be restored if necessary. :-)...


    @Blunt Edges: Thank you ! I knew you will be with me!

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  6. So, this person when spoken to, just smirked and did not answer you? And in a public setting?
    Wow...
    I gurantee you were not the only one that noticed the rude behavior. I am sure several others did the Ctrl-delete. He keeps that up he won't have any friends at all. It must suck to be him.
    Smile - you only had to spend those few moments with him. He has to spend a life time with himself...OUCH!

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  7. Yes Grayquill..I spoke a few sentences too, and everyone noticed. I managed to keep my smile intact.
    Anyways, thanks Grayquill...its a lovely comment and your words are golden. You've read between the lines and understood my situation very well. Thank You.

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