Saturday, October 2, 2010

Uncanny Responses :-(


We’ve all had our share of abusive rickshaw drivers and dirty stares by bus conductors and cleaners (in case of females, but nowadays it doesn’t matter). However repeated embarrassment from an apartment security was for the first time.

Two of our friends stay in different apartments of the same building in Bangalore. So during weekends we usually drive to this place and hangout there. The security guy for this building was a tall, frail fellow, who dutifully forbids us to park in the car parking area. We usually convince him that we’ll be back in five minutes and this guy believes it every time. Also there were a few cars on the parking lot which looked like vintage cars, covered with dust, bird feces, paw marks of cats and dogs, cobwebs and the like. We always park our car in front of such cars, as, 1. We are sure no one will ask us to move it. 2. If at all someone calls to move it, we desperately want to see that guy.

One such day, we were watching TV in one apartment, and later decided to have dinner at the other. Being three married couples or in other words six extremely lazy techies, we took the elevator to the other apartment which was only a floor away. This elevator was designed to allow only three people…but our legs weren’t designed to walk upto another floor…so we all squeezed in, and pressed the floor number and waited. When we almost reached the next floor, the elevator stopped and door jammed. I cant say that this was totally unexpected, but we got panicked and called the security. After what seemed like five minutes, he came with a torch, pressed some elevator buttons from outside and we got out…
The guys among us maintained absolute silence, but we girls, definitely dint, and asked for whatever that happened after this.

We: “What is this? If something is wrong with elevator, no one should be allowed to use it!”

Security: Yeah lift ka koi problem nahi hai madam…bas yeh 3 log ke liye baney hain…aur tum…? 6 mota mota aadmi …

We couldn’t believe our ears. This guy has certainly gone overboard. And the three guys among us had swallowed their tongues and were still silent.

But we got angry and blurted…” Mota mota aadmi???!! Kaun hai mota aadmi…tum bolo…BOLO…!!!

At this, we expected the frail old guy to apologize and relapse to his shell.

But the most earth shattering thing happened.

“ Mujhe pooch rahe ho kaun mota hai…? and he took out his filthy fingers and pointed at a few of us one by one.. ‘Tum…tum….aur tum…”


!@!!@@#$##$#$%$%^%^&*(*(*(&^%$#@@#@$#$^*(*()!!!!!


27 comments:

  1. ROFL!!

    Were u a part of the tum? *wonders*

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  2. ha haaa haaaaa...so funny....
    he seems to be too genuine to his words!!
    poor guy!
    I am sure u r not offended;)

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  3. Shanu: You've seen hundreds of my snaps... Still wondering?

    Praful: GRRR!


    Harman:Too frank,and therefore too bitter :D Lol

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  4. lol..i remember this day!!! it was soo embarrassing..lets not discuss abt who wer part of the 'Tum tum aur Tum'..it was heart breaking!! by the way hes been chucked out and a handsome hunk is appointed now :)

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  5. Vinee: Really? Handsome hunk? Oh we have to plan some prank then!

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  6. Now that's what I call an honest frail old guy :P

    Hilarious read :D

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  7. yipes.. thats embarrassing !! been in many such situations myself.. just recently shifted into new flat.. and stranger kid riding abike calls out "hey, look.. its uncle roshan !! you're fat !!"... stupid kid !!!

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  8. He rides a bike na...some day hes gonna fall ddown....pour extra dettol on it!!!!;-)
    ( u doctors shud not keep company with me ) :(

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  9. this is literally a kid.. maybe 7-8 yrs old.. in his cycle.. but ya, i will definitely consider blowing his tyres !!! thats the only way i can catch him if he tries to escape !!!

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  10. With all those expletives I didn’t understand a word frail Joe said. But, I must say, this is not the first story where Anita gives someone a piece of her mind or gets a piece of someone else’s mind. Am I seeing a pattern?
    If I could only read non-english.

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  11. Hey Grayquill....I am translating the non english part for u:

    One such day, we were watching TV in one apartment, and later decided to have dinner at the other. Being three married couples or in other words six extremely lazy techies, we took the elevator to the other apartment which was only a floor away. This elevator was designed to allow only three people…but our legs weren’t designed to walk upto another floor…so we all squeezed in, and pressed the floor number and waited. When we almost reached the next floor, the elevator stopped and door jammed. I cant say that this was totally unexpected, but we got panicked and called the security. After what seemed like five minutes, he came with a torch, pressed some elevator buttons from outside and we got out…
    The guys among us maintained absolute silence, but we girls, definitely dint, and asked for whatever that happened after this.

    We: “What is this? If something is wrong with elevator, no one should be allowed to use it!”

    Security: The lift has no problem ma'am, it has been designed for 3 people at a time...and u ? 6 fat fat people...!!!

    We couldn’t believe our ears. This guy has certainly gone overboard. And the three guys among us had swallowed their tongues and were still silent.

    But we got angry and blurted…” fat fat people ? Who is fat here...u better tell me.... SPEAK UP!!"

    At this, we expected the frail old guy to apologize and relapse to his shell.

    But the most earth shattering thing happened.

    “ U asking me who is fat? Cant u see for yourselves?? " and he lifted his filthy fingers and pointed it at a few of us and said.. ' You...You...and You!!!"


    !@!!@@#$##$#$%$%^%^&*(*(*(&^%$#@@#@$#$^*(*()!!!!!

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  12. Ouch!!! That hurts...was he just angry and trying to hurt you? or was he telling the truth and trying to hurt you?

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  13. If six of u ppl squeezed into the lift which is supposedly designed for 3 ppl, u guys should ve appeared a lil thinner (owing to the pushing/shoving and squeezed up look)... still that guy said tat??? my my... u really have to think abt ur diet Anita!! :-P

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  14. Roshan: Oh small kid huh... 'pilla manassil kallam illa" enna! So we have to take seriously what they say and start going to gym!!!

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  15. Grayquill: Not just me the hurt was equally shared by six of us :D So dint hurt much... but I guess he is oversmart!!!!

    Davis: In which school did u go? Regardless of how you squeeze an object the volume and mass of the body remains unchanged ..!!!

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  16. I agree anita... I bunked that physics lecture... The 'MASS' and 'VOLUME' of fat ladies can never change! :-D

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  17. Is that what others who dint bunk Physics lecture learn at your school? About fat ladies ??
    Seriously dude, what a school!!!!

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  18. It was a boys only school u c... there has to be something interesting.. esp in dry subjects like physics!!

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  19. I was just wondering - the variety of ways realization dawns upon u.
    I believe you folks did take a look at the mirror once you got back to the aptmt :) wid the thot 'was he,in fact, right?' lingering in the back of ur minds.

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  20. Never.. ! we were so focussed on bitching about him ..and looking into the mirror 2 make sure would mean that we accepted that he is right!

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  21. Now I'll think and look around, before setting foots on a lift, it might actually take me nowhere in some cases! ;)

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  22. I'm saying....u will NEVER face this problem, sourav!!!

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  23. embarassing enough to kill,great post anyways...

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  24. That was asking for it.
    Straight from the horse's mouth.

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  25. Jelly Beans: True...and thanks..!!


    Haddock: Yup...exactly...but the response was unexpected.. :D

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  26. LOL! hilarious read Anita!

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