Saturday, October 13, 2012

The e-wardrobe !


Write like no one is reading, they say. 
So I am going to do just that by declaring, I have problems with my wardrobe. Many times I tried folding everything up to the smallest piece of clothing, but the very next day I find myself searching for that stuff which I haven’t worn in the last decade and thus end up wrecking the whole thing. I’ve got to see kitchens and living rooms of others, dirtier than the adjacent slip road, and patted my own back for the spotless living room I own. But rarely do we get to see another person’s wardrobe. My friend in Bangalore has one which showers clothes as she opens it, and her attitude is my inspiration ever since. I know many of you must be making designs on your foreheads with all the tweaking of eyebrows, but that’s what I am, folks. You can stare or laugh at me all you like. I am writing like no one is reading, remember?

So being a programmer myself I have a wonderful idea for an application. It’s nothing but a wardrobe, which is driven by software, so let’s call it an e-wardrobe.


Here is the blueprint:

·         It folds clothes, categorizes them and places them neatly. This is performed by default.

·         If I try to put a used dress into it, it beeps and shines a red bulb with a message that the dress in question is to be put in laundry.

·         The application should have a dress sense. I mean early morning when I put on black pants with a black shirt, the application should tell me diplomatically, I repeat, diplomatically, that the brown trouser goes better with that shirt. The app should, by no means, use the words ‘suck’ or ‘ugly’ while saying these things which may make the user want to trash it immediately.

·         When clothes are back from the laundry and kept randomly inside the wardrobe, it should fold them neatly and categorize them and the most recently used should go to the bottom.

·         When a dress is picked on Friday which was worn on Monday of the same week, the app should diplomatically, I repeat, diplomatically, remind the user that it was worn few days back and gently ask ‘Are you sure’?

·         The app should be user friendly. In the sense, if a combination of kurti with leggings or a trouser and top is well matched, it can pass a compliment or two which sounds moderate, something like , ‘ Omg you look so pretty!’ or, ‘Noone can make a better combination’, or,  ‘That girl at your office is not even competition to you’. Of course, the compliments should be very gentle and precise, like the above.

·         If a combination made by the user is not apt, the app should either keep quiet or make subtle suggestions but NEVER comment on what is already worn.

·         Again there is a twist. The app should check the time first. If the user has ample time to choose and wear the above suggestions and compliments are welcome. If not, and the user has just a few minutes left, e-wardrobe should shut the hell up and close the wardrobe promptly when the user is done.

·         The wardrobe cleans, disinfects itself.

·         The wardrobe should detect the mood of the user. For example, early morning if I am in a bad mood, the wardrobe should just open and close and should not do any of the talking, even if there is ample time. The mood detection can be done by measuring the force applied to open the wardrobe or closing it.

·         If the user enters the e-wardrobe room humming a tune, the wardrobe greets her by the time of the day, and when she is done, says ‘Bubye Gorgeous!’ or few lines from a good poem, or something which is as subtle as that.

·         Additional functions: The wardrobe can have an add-on, which is a dry cleaner which occupies negligible space. This also irons the clothes based on fabric and thus adjusting the temperature.

I personally think if such a wardrobe, once implemented, will be the best seller gadget of all times and solve half of the world’s problems. This also reduces the pressure some women put on their husbands by asking about their look or dress about which the latter has absolutely no idea. I mean in some ways the e-wardrobe provides excellent emotional companionship and boosts one’s self confidence to supremely high levels.

P.S: My billion dollar idea is copyright protected.

Disclaimer: If any woman buys an e-wardrobe and then decides to ditch her husband, then it is her personal choice and e-wardrobe has nothing to do with it.

36 comments:

  1. Well her friend at Bangalore whose wardrobe showers clothesIs none other than me lol!! Iambic glad it inspired u heheeeee..loved ur post..!!! ' Byebye gorgeous.'..I just loved that...:)

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    1. Vinee I guessed it might be you ... Lol ... That rele cracked me up ... Reminded me of my own messed n stuffed up wardrobe :D !! - Nilo

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    2. Thanks a ton Vineeta. You are always the one I refer to, when I say 'friend at Bangalore' ! I associate Bangalore to you :D

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  2. I loved it!! I repeat ... I LOVED it!!!! Exactly what I wanted :D !!! E-wardrobe should also remind us of dresses whose existence we forget :P - Nilo

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    1. Thats an absolutely apt suggestion, and a very important one, Nilo! Will include that as well.!Thanks for loving it!

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  3. hehe My wardrobe is similar to you on good days and similar to your friend on bad days :D :D I have clothes being showered on me and sometimes wardrobes opening on their own because of not being able to stand the pressure of lying unorganised :D :D

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    1. Ya even I have half opened wardrobe which prompts my toddler to open it and do the rest of the damage.

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  5. If the program finds the dress which suits me from the heaps lying around my room, calculate which stinks the less and which stink goes well with the deo I'll get one! It should also make a fire engine like sound whenever I forget to take dress to or from the laundry guy! Make it an android app and call this version E- Wardrobe B edition (B for bachelors)!
    I should get a royalty for this idea!
    And for me at any given point of time the best of my dress when I need them the most will be given to the laundry!

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    1. That is out of scope , Rohan...cos only if the clothes are in the wardrobe will it be able to suggest anything...if it is lying around the room then sorry ! :D Ya about the dress being in the laundry when we need it the most happens to everyone - it is a typical case of the bread falling on the buttered side.

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  6. Anita,

    What a boon will it be once available! It would be widely used. I would like to book one.

    Take care

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  7. I'll buy one...FOR MY WIFE!!! (I didn't say that!)

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  8. I saw the header of this and it so caught my attention. Please tell when this will actually be "out" for consumers. My poor wardrobe is calling out in distress. Genius indeed :-)

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    1. Thanks a lot! I will be the first one to buy and definitely put up review and snaps here !

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  9. you so very much sound like Sheldon cooper from big bang theory in this post :P

    it's a compliment :-)

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    1. Thank you! I also took it as a compliment, cos not once have I seen this big bang theory, nor do i know Sheldon Cooper :D

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  11. Blueprint is really great Anita. And you have rightly copyrighted it :D

    I will surely buy it for my wife. And I am sure she'll love it! :)

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  12. Like that idea of - wardrobe greets her, and when she is done, says ‘Bubye Gorgeous!’

    But all said and done, who knows, one day this may be a reality !!
    So good you got it copyrighted. Get it patented too :-)

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    1. Yes yes I really should get it patented. If it becomes a reality, hope someone pays me as well :D

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  13. Anita, if you make this, I would be talking to a billionare! A senstive wardrobe! Love it :-) Every morning I spend about 30 minutes deciding what I should wear. And never am I satisfied with just one dress. Only afteer I have changed a couple of dresses, do I finally decide upon one! This invention would be the turning point of a new generation for the WOMANkind. Something like the invention of the wheel :-)

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    1. I am just like you - every morning I realize I have nothing to wear after trying on a couple of them! Honestly, in a woman's world, this is some sort of a life changer!

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  14. My wardrobe looks like a tornado just got in there. EVERYTIME. I have no intention of learning to keep it organized because it's a waste of time. :D

    +Not Just My Allegories+

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    1. Buy this product, it will make your wardrobe organized, and smelling of rose buds..! EVERY TIME!

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  15. Hahaha....That really is a billion dollar idea

    I get to total OCD when it comes to my wardrobe. My whole room might look like a disaster but my wardrobe is always shiny. I love my clothes way too much :D :D

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    1. You are one in a billion to have a wardrobe like that! By doing that, you have also saved yourself a few millions by not having to invest in this astronomically priced , bestselling product!

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  16. This is the software have been looking out for.the moment I open my wardrobe and I am buried in the heap of clothes and still I feel I hav nothing to wear.and am happy there are people like me around :)

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    1. And I happy to have matched your thoughts as well. I think its not just you and me, this could be an essential invention for the entire womanhood!

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  17. Girl...u r a GENIUS!!!

    Please, please dont overlook this blog-friend when this gadget becomes reality*N kneels down and lifts hands towards Anita in need*

    See thts how desperate I am;-P

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    1. "Write like no one is reading, they say."

      I just cant do tht;-S
      I'm trying to do that these days but it's sooo difficult;-(

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    2. hahahaha the levels of desperation is dramatic enough to actually take this idea seriously :D

      Yeah , I know...I think one needs to have a private blog or diary to be able 2 write like that :D

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  18. This is awesome.. Any woman's dream come true..Loved every line of code..

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