Saturday, April 13, 2013

Ten Commandments of the seemingly underprivileged!


As I opened this document to write, I was completely blank. Where did all the topics go? I mean I sacked a lot of them just because it may 'unknowingly' refer to some readers ;-) But thanks to Facebook and Whatsapp, I am well connected to everybody at the meager cost of broadband internet. If it were not for internet, would we reach out for our landlines to talk to our friends we interact with everyday on Facebook? No, not in a thousand years. 

Today, I am going to highlight some of the weirdest misers I have heard about and others, I have personally encountered. I am sure this will ring a bell somewhere as you read, because chances are more that you have come across one. 
To save money, and how!

1.Thou shalt not make phone calls
Local, STD, any calls. 
They do not even use the 100 free local calls facility available in the landline hoping that it will be en-cashed one day and it can be used to fund that square plot near Infopark. But when someone else calls them, the caller is not spared for a good hour with the most mind-numbing conversation, ever.

2.Thou shall miscalculate on purpose.
When a group of six friends buy similar dresses to wear on graduation day, the total amount Rs.6500 is divided by 5 and each one has to pay Rs1300, says this little devil. When you dig deep into the bill and ask her, the perpetually shrewd friend admits having made a 'small mistake'. But you know it wasn't, even though you have to pretend otherwise.

3.Thou shall not go on vacations
They do not plan nor do they participate in any group excursions simply because pitching in the total expense can be avoided by sitting idle in the comforts of one’s own home. There are others who actually come and have fun but play evil procrastinators when it comes to money.

4.Thou shall attend all parties but never host one. These weirdos can be found in corporate corridors and are as common as dirt. When there is a birthday or anniversary of any kind, they will be the first ones to initiate a treat or demand a party. However in all the years you know them, their birthday remains a mystery or there are enough reasons to embarrass the ones who ask for it.


5.Thou shall not buy anything new. 
These are people who were born to use second hand items. In all their lifetime they do not have a concept of a new car or a phone. It has to be second hand or Chinese make and they are fulfilled to their heart's content. 

6.Thou shall act innocent. 
These are our friends who consistently forget their purses or cards and reveal the same when the bill arrives. Someone covers for them at the moment, and it is forgotten. Dignified corporate friends find it cheap to remind their forgetful friend about the 200 rupees from 'last week's party'  and thus ignore it. Mission accomplished.

7.Thou shall car pool. 
Car pooling could have been introduced to save the environment but this was a blessing for many cheapos who keep their precious machines under covers in the garage. You always have that guy who tells you where he needs to be picked and dropped in a team outing.

8.Thou shall criticize.
These are the same people who own acres of land and runs highly successful family businesses but act very modest. When the comparatively poor you save for a million years and afford to buy a new phone they criticize you of being very rich and extravagant. In most cases these people use mobile phones which have black and white displays.

9.Thou shall eat free lunches. 
These are the ones, who suggest getting together for lunch when it is not on your schedule. They persuade and suggest a restaurant, eat lavishly, burp and pass on the bill to you as if you are his single parent.

10.Thou shall calculate. These are the ones, whose outing day summary looks like this on their phones: 
Public Toilet – Rs.1 
Bisleri Rs.15.75 (when that 16.75 has gone from his wallet). 
However when you pay Rs.1200 at KFC it is not counted but instantly overlooked.


 Tell me, have you met any one of these annoying creatures ?

20 comments:

  1. Thankfully I've not met them! Really, I am living in a different world I suppose!!
    But I know people living in the Middle East buying property after property but eating only at Sarvana Bhawan! I don't understand how a secure future is better than a lousy present. And then they make us feel like spendthrifts.

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    1. Haha we also live in the middle east but I have only seen extravagant people who dont believe in saving ! :D The world is so varied ! However most of the above mentioned folks, I met in India ;-)

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  2. Living in a hostel for five years made see each of these situations! Some may even think they are real smart and got away with all those. . Another angle is that occasionally we all put that cap and does such desperate acts when we are short on cash. . The fun comes when all of us in a group are broke!

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    1. Yes in college or at school when pocket money dries up, we may do many antics. But the above post was about affluent working class who earn six digit salaries !

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  3. i am surrounded with such creatures all the time :P

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    1. hahaha so that means there are a whole lot of them !

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  5. I was just surfing through some blogs when I infact stumbled upon yours and especialy this post, haha, nice observation but it is a writer who can pen it into words, humorously...keep writing...:)

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  6. I've not met many but heard abt them;-P....the car pool bit is a surprise to me, Guys like to drive their vehicles and didn't like just sitting in the passenger seat was my thought;-o.

    And tht miscalculation bit is too much...like it fits into another category altogether;-/

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    1. Nancy - Actually the car pool morons are not seen in Gulf. Because here people want to drive- because petrol is cheap , roads are smooth and every other person has a luxury vehicle. But in India, driving from destination A to B means atleast a thousand bucks for petrol. Besides, parking charges, traffic, and lot of hassles. So in India, the lazy ones car pool.:D

      That miscalculation bit is from my experience. I was the girl who found out the error in calculation. I am glad I met her, I could enlighten others today ! :D

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  7. My best revenge is when I see someone that ticks me off I say to myself, I am so glad i get to leave this persons presence it must suck to be stuck in that body and never be able to leave. Who said, revenge wasn't sweet?

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    1. Yeah that is so true Grayquill..! I wish I could say that to such people.. but in this society we live in, I am forced to turn a blind eye and keep smiling for relationship sake, and then write about it over here !

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  9. Aww cmon...dont be so harsh. It's not called kanjoosi...its called Austerity ;)

    Cheers
    CRD

    Do visit mine. Started a new 'column' of sorts. Humourous take on news headlines - weekly.

    P.s. I have a bloggers' community on FB called 'Bloggeratti'. You are welcome to join :)

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    1. Who says it was called kanjoosi? ;-) By the way austerity is too sophisticated a word to address small people like these.!

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  10. Are we talking about the Mallu's in general here.. Coz I get a feeling I have met most of them and co-incidentally they speak one language.. Just thinking.. ;-)

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