Wednesday, September 7, 2016

How to deal with Argh-sidfoy-asshole-o-maniacs.

We’ve all had good, bad, worse, horrible, shocking, devastating, normal, abnormal, tired and deadly days. Some days, the mind may be running a bit slow from the unending checklist of to-do things, traffic, sickness, responsibilities. Catching up with a fast paced life is not a race in which a winner emerges at the end. Most of us fall short, and people like me just want to go home and wind up on the sofa. However amidst all that, when I see familiar faces on the road, be it a neighbor, a person I knew from a decade ago, plumber, flat maintenance guy, an ex-enemy, or an office backstabber I smile.  I never turn my face away from someone who is smiling at me or if I run into someone I know.

But surprise! Not all people adhere to social etiquette as simple as smiling at a familiar face. It is interestingly noteworthy that people sometimes need to be in a good mood and all pieces of their lives fallen at the right places to be able to smile. Now the unsuspecting person, who walks opposite them, should telepathically comprehend whether it has been a good day for the said person before smiling. If you smile just because you know this person you will be met with a stone face that pretends not to know you at all. Then you end up being a total idiot with a wasted smile, cursing yourself and deciding never to smile again. How many times has this happened to you?

Image courtesy: Here

Once I was telling my Mom about a certain someone who sometimes smiles and talks cheerfully, and acts like a complete stranger on other days. Mom was exhilarated when she animatedly narrated the same incident that happened to her as well on multiple occasions by various people. So basically when the said person turns away and pretends not to know me, I have checked myself in the mirror inside the elevator-to double check whether I overdid the makeup that people are not able to recognize me. But no, I was just doing fine and everything was in place even my eyeliner. Secondly, I am not sure if there is a psychological condition wherein the victim does not identify familiar people on selected days. I cross checked with a friend who studied Human Psychology  and she confirmed that this is a yet-to-be-studied common condition called Argh-sidfoy-asshole-o-mania which in Layman terms, means being a psychotic a****le.

Well. I am sure Human Psychology is an interesting stream of study. Most psychological behaviors which are normally called a****le-ism by us actually have not been discovered yet.   Like for instance, she wishes me a happy Republic Day but on Independence Day she acts like she lost control over her facial muscles. I smile the same on both days like an idiot, thanks to inability to reciprocate in the same way as the Argh-sidfoy-asshole-o-maniac. There is only one way to deal with these people – ignore them at all times. Do not make eye contact. Pretend they don’t exist.

I have been practicing this beautiful, self-confidence boosting, sanctified ritual of ignoring people whose smiles are outcomes of their fluctuating moods. I would highly recommend this technique, which is non-violent, peaceful and not classified as sinful in any of the Holy Scriptures. It is also an enriching experience, and does not harm the environment or cause pollution of any kind.

You are welcome.


  1. Ah these type of people! I have this girl who works in my team. When I see her outside of work she keeps starting at me. When I look back at her and smile, she looks away like I'm some moron. The number of times I've killed her in my head!!

    The best thing to do is never react. Until they come and tap your shoulder, act all cool :)

    1. Yeah ! Thats what! So such people are everywhere!

  2. Well, what you described to me is eerily familiar. And I'm afraid you MIGHT be misunderstanding the person.

    Familiar? How come? Coz I tend to behave like that sometimes.

    I tends to stem from my painfully shy and reserved nature. While I was a teenager, I'd keep out of gatherings. I hated being in a group, especially if I did not know some of the people closely. I never attended parties - I still avoid them and hence it's no pubs, no concerts, etc. I have a circle of close friends who I can spend time with - sometimes talking, sometimes just listening. And they understand, because they know me since years.

    Although I have made a deliberate effort and managed to make myself a little socially-adaptable over the years, my first instinct when I see anyone walking in from the opposite direction towards me is to quickly look away and avoid eye contact. I quickly realise my mistake and look back up again, but the person usually has walked past already - this happens to me on a daily basis. I feel (KNOW) that they think I'm arrogant and an asshole, but that's actually far from the truth. I actually am (people who cared to get to know me better can vouch for this) a caring and understanding person who likes harmony and good cheer.

    When someone like me appears to pretend not to know someone, it is usually because he/she is constantly scared about people's opinion about him/her. He/she must have definitely looked up once or twice to catch your eye and exchange a quick smile, but by then you must have switched off. This then makes them withdraw into that unseen shell that he/she has made for himself/herself.

    Too much gyaan huh? It's true for me....and MAYBE for this person as well.


    1. I completely understand introverts because I was one and had suffered from terrible inferiority complex at one time. But I am pretty sure this person in question is just a moody moron because she is pretty happy and loud and extravagant in general. Loud means, can hear her on third floor when she is speaking in the basement LOUD.Our eyes have met several times and many of my idiotic smiles have gone in vain in public. I always give multiple chances to people before I cut them out completely and blog about them. :-)

  3. But why would you change yourself because of some ill-mannered people!

    Don't. You be you.

    1. Yes Purba. I am just gonna be me. I should probably not even waste space writing about them!

  4. hahhaha....
    so nicely written. that too on a simple thing like a smile. not so simple anymore i can say :) thanks to ur detailed analysis :)
    that big word in the title went over my head and intrigued me.

  5. Enjoyed it thoroughly!
    It can pinch so much when your smile isn't acknowledged at all!!
    Yes you can term those ppl as a#%$#les!

    1. Exactly !! :D
      Thank you and welcome to this space!