Saturday, July 3, 2010

My Name is Mallu !



This is NOT about ALL mallus; it is about a typical Mallu.... mebbe a mallu politician not less than 80 years of age (well is there anyone younger than that :D) or…a mallu cricketer… (u know who… lol) or an ignorant, jobless,  zindabad hurling, lungi folding, native Mallu.

*There is one Mallu guy who is in the Indian cricket team and we all hate him; he is the symbol of arrogance and insanity.

*We have a personalized way to use the English vocabulary and look down upon whoever uses a regular, fluent slang.

*We use only coconut, coconut milk, and coconut oil as ingredients to any food and are proud of our high cholesterol records.

*We are totally against any new development happening in our state and hold strikes for every other reason...cos we consider 'Gelf' as an extension of Kerala .

*We get vegetables, meat and milk from other states and are not sure of what exactly we’re doing.

*We know Mohanlal, but we don’t know who Barack Obama is, though we’re hearing a lot about him lately.

*A few of us cannot stand to see females at any age walking the roads and want to pass comments at them otherwise our natural instincts would stand unfulfilled.

*At corporate levels, we are very good at smiling endearingly and stabbing from the behind.

*By the verb ‘drink’ we mean alcohol by default. If it is water we have to mention it explicitly.

*Even at a funeral ceremony, if we see Mohanlal, we shout and rejoice, and do not care about the surroundings or about the bereaving family.

*Arrogance is our attitude and weapon.

*We fold up the lungi, wear ray ban glasses, unbutton the shirt and walk the lifestyle store at Bangalore confidently enjoying all the ‘attention’ received ( I started talking in hindi that day).

*Lolakutty is our fashion icon.

*A few of us are not sure about what ‘friendship’ is, if there is no gain out of it.

*We criticize more than we appreciate and are personally not capable of anything other than that (seriously!).

*Our movies are suffering, as our directors are busy in Bollywood (making flop movies there).


We belong to God’s own Country.:-D


22 comments:

  1. The USPs of a Mallu, eh? And very proud of these "traits" that they flaunt it around. Simbly funnny!

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  2. good writing indeed, Anu!!

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  3. not sure if im proud of it or ashamed of it.. ;)

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  4. u traitor :P
    my fav point: drink = alcohol :D

    n that shade-sporting dude in lifestyle deserves an applause ;)

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  5. RGB: Yes yes...simbly funny!

    Papa: Thank u Papa...Muah!

    Amalbose: Me also cant decide that part. caught between !

    Blunt: Sure yaa.... We were totally in awe of the guts of a group of such mallus...who appeared at lifestyle in a lungi and ray ban!

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  6. *I dont hate that MALLU Cricketer

    *MTI is there for everyone .. atleat 95%
    *We are not totally against devept :-) though politics play a serious role
    * we have rubber plantations .. and get 175 rs / kg for it , so we have buying capacity
    *Who told we dont know barak obama ? we have news papers in almost all homes

    *he he he .... ;-)

    * Only mallus ??? hmm hmmm ..
    *exactly
    * Anganonnulla :-) verum thonnala .. why not mammooty ?

    *Only arrogance ???
    *aaru eppo lungi rayban .. chumma parayalle !
    *I was not able to recognise mosr mallu gals in office .. ente nashtam :-(
    * Its not applicable only for mallus
    *yep ... i am doing it..
    * They are growing .. youngsters shud take the charge .. not like they should come back ..
    * muttinu munnooru aashupathri undu .

    Good findings.. but i have to criticize .. i am a mallu :D

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  7. Praful: Thats how a typical mallu reponds! Check the third last statement. :D

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  8. Ohh Thanks, Praful. Thank u very much :D

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  9. 'A few of us cannot stand to see females at any age walking the roads and want to pass comments at them otherwise our natural instincts would stand unfulfilled'

    I feel so so strongly abt this point.. It really is a torture to walk on kerala roads.. :x

    Fun post.. and muz say kudos to ur observation skills!! :D

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  10. And despite all this...Kerala is a beautiful state with the highest literacy rate in India.

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  11. Gee I thought you were describing the typcial twenty something American. :)

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  12. Sangitha: hehe ...true. and thanks!

    Gayathri: Yup beautiful and literate.. :-) Its a nice place actually..my hometown...however there are pluses and minuses for every place. :(

    Grayquill: LOL..!

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  13. lol ..i liked it when u forcefully made urself speak in Hindi!! wonder what more will we have to do do save ourself from being teased...cos of just few inmates of Gods own Country !!

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  14. Vineee... Totally dee.. In Muscat one gets to hear Manglish a lot too..

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  15. Grayquill: Hehe nope, Grayquill...just about people of my hometown.. :D

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  16. Sangitha: True. :) and thanks!

    Gayathri: It sure is a gr8 place, my hometown too...there are pluses and minuses in every place na.

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  17. "*We are totally against any new development happening in our state and hold strikes for every other reason...cos we consider 'Gelf' as an extension of Kerala .

    *We get vegetables, meat and milk from other states and are not sure of what exactly we’re doing.

    *A few of us are not sure about what ‘friendship’ is, if there is no gain out of it.

    *We criticize more than we appreciate and are personally not capable of anything other than that (seriously!)."


    Like u keep saying, I echo "Kidilam post";-D....have to agree on almost everything but the 4 above were the clinchers;-)

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  18. @Reflections: hee hee ... who can relate to it better than we do.. ? Thanks a ton for the 'kidilam' tag. :)

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  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  20. Thank you for stumbling into my forgotten blog and leaving some lovely encouraging words. :)

    I am a Malu who does not know many...heck..any Malus personally...And that is precisely because:
    *At corporate levels, we are very good at smiling endearingly and stabbing from the behind.
    *We criticize more than we appreciate and are personally not capable of anything other than that (seriously!).
    *A few of us are not sure about what ‘friendship’ is, if there is no gain out of it.


    Cool cool post! Well done! :D

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  21. Ohhhh am so surprised 2 know u r a mallu!!!! wooow...! And choco , I love cats too..! Probably not as much as u...but still love them! :) Love ur write ups... Thanks for ur comment :)

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