Thursday, January 16, 2014

The great Indian CAR-ste System.

Recently a very amusing encounter happened between an Audi and a Nano at Trivandrum. Apparently cars do not respect each other based on their make. Well here is what really happened. A family was driving home in a Nano. They did not give way to the celebrity vehicle Audi that was following them, because the signal was red and there was no choice for the Nano but to stay where it was. Apparently the Audi got fast and furious that the Nano did not hold her skirt and bow down as it was supposed to. Further things got lame and silly when the Audi driver got out of his car after overtaking the Nano and manhandled the Nano driver who was travelling with his family. Poor Nano was publicly reminded that the road was the ancestral property of the Audis and the BMWs, and that traffic signals were not applicable to them. And that Mukesh Ambani does not enter Reliance offices by swiping his id card. You need to have polarized vision to read unwritten, but pretty obvious celebrity vehicle rules, my Nano friend! 

As for me this is like watching the CARS movie, or a long drive with the hubby, whose mind is full of car politics. For example when we used to drive a Maruti Swift in India, he used to give way to Honda Accord to overtake but not to an i10, because apparently i10 dint have what it takes. May be i10 needed to grow up and become a Honda Accord or something. Other Maruti Swifts with brighter colors and better alloy wheels would not be spared either. And let’s not discuss Nano! This was one of the startling revelations about him I learnt post marriage because till then all the trips I ever went were with Papa and Mummy during which even bicycles overtook us. So after understanding car politics I was like Wow! These guys do not have ANY right to mock us girls, just because we go green eyed when somebody turns up in a brand new dress or handbag. They have mean car politics going on in their heads! Untold dark secrets of stupid car politics!

For the uninitiated, the car-ste system is something like this. The Big B travels in a Rolls Royce because it is old,rich, handsome and elegant just like him. His granddaughter travels in a Mini Cooper, because it is small and cute, and also showcases the brand of the family she belongs to. Salman Khan drives a Range Rover as he is a ‘young’ sporty bachelor, and that’s also something which can kill innocent people on the streets and get away. Other rich businessmen and celebrities drive BMWs, Benz and Audi variants. All other cars, invariably Maruti and Hyundai hatchbacks are owned by honest, taxpaying aam aadmis. And there are classes there too.

Then there are the spoilt brat cars. For example the Ambani kids drive the Aston Martin, some NRI kids of Kerala under ten years of age drive the Ferrari and other rich kids of the Middle East drive Lamborghinis and Porsche, a regular sight for us commoners. And when they race through those lesser travelled roads near the airport, a 5:00 pm weekend sport of rich teenagers, regular cars either stop or reduce speed and shift to a side as a sign of reverence. Or fear.

People choose cars by how it makes them look among others. If you drive to a fancy restaurant in a normal car, the security may gesture you to park outside, but if you go in a shiny SUV, he will open the door for you and park it too. 
In an Indian arranged marriage if the groom comes in a top end car then he is considered to be a great catch by the bride’s nosey relatives. Whereas if the bride arrives in a luxury car, the guy is considered to be lucky and any flaws associated with either of the couple will be conveniently overseen. What if the bride is a notorious college dropout? Her father gave her Audi Q7 as dowry wedding gift…! Instantly she is elevated to sainthood.  

Flashback to year 2007.
I was in Mumbai on a project, with five others, trying to cross a busy road. We stood by the zebra cross trying to make eye contact with speeding drivers for at least fifteen minutes.

Me (to friend): “Let’s start taking baby steps, until we reach somewhere near the center of the road. Then at least somebody will let us pass… come” I took two steps.

A lorry was coming slowly.

Friend: “Hey if you want to die then target that Benz, not this lorry. Atleast the news of your accident will sound cooler.”


P.S : I always had such awesome, 'caring' friends. I still do. Thank you very much J

35 comments:

  1. xD never heard of the car caste system, now that I have, I never will forget :P

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  2. Replies
    1. Hey what's up with you Shiny? Great to know you read my blog!

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  3. Oh this car-ste system is ridiculous. You forgot to mention the huge SUVs here that climb the pavements to make way for themselves. They consider themselves superior to all! In India, however, the swanky audi and merc rule the roost. Imagine if these SUVs go there... I donno where will the homeless go then!

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    1. Yeah I actually envy.those SUVs :-D the.ones which climb the pavement with so.much ease! Indian roads are not wide enough for SUVs.

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  4. Your friend was actually right, though driven over by a lorry does sound big, but driven over by a Benz sure is classy!

    Hilarious post, which does reveal the 'soft' side of men. ;-)

    Besides, many men (read most) have a penchant for power (or at least to overpower) which drives them to such crazed beasts in elegant finishing aka cars. Not that there aren't women, but it is highly likely that such women have a dominating spirit which exudes itself in their persona.

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    Replies
    1. Hmm I think cars and it's politics are just a guy thing.

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  5. truly said dear.... we used to own an i20. then my husband would never let a santro or i10 to pass him...swifts were a compeition then.. now we own a scorpio...you should see him drive now..

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  6. Hahahaha...The great Indian hierarchy. Even cars are not spared.

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  7. CAR POLITICS!!! MAN OFF-COURSE!! This so exists!!!
    "Maybe i10 needed to grow up and become a Honda accord or something"
    bahahahahahaha...you dont even try and you crack me up!!!!

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  8. Oh this is a real thing.. trust me. I've seen senior doctors do this nautanki, leave alone others. Give way for Jags and Benz' and BMWs... its actually scary how many of them u see nowadays in Kerala. Not as rare as u would expect.
    And yes, Tata is ppretty much the lowest rung in many people's opinion... Tata Nano? Who allowed that off the sidewalk?

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    1. Hahah yeah the giant vehicles are.pushing the nano to the sidewalk!! Paavam nano! Yes people have more money than we think! How do they even maintain these luxurious babes?

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  9. Hahahaaaahaaaa.....soo, sooo true Anita. I have myself seen[and mind u we dont even have a car] how sitting behind a wheel can make a simple, ordinary man go beserk err I meant forget himself;-P. The bigger the car the more respect u give/demand/take depending on which side of the road u r on.

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  10. Hello Anita! Greetings from Kuala Lumpur. I've been reading your blog for a weeks now, i love your writing. I'm so much inspired by you, i love your sense of humor. i giggle everytime i read your blog. :))

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Susie! And your comment means a lot as well!

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  11. And to think that the influential Mr.Audi managed to slip out through the hidden loop holes tailored for him by the law and order system of the city...Disgusting. Car politics is getting dirty...Seriously.

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    1. The world belongs to the rich. They run our nation, and exist above the law. It is manifested through different ways of which this is one.

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  12. I have seen this here in Dubai a lot... :)

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  13. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zz2tQRiG0_E
    Please refer both sides of the news before mirroring out thoughts.

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    Replies
    1. Hello Anonymous, if you refer the title it is 'Mirroring MY Thoughts..' and I am just doing that here. Thanks !

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