One
fine Saturday morning I dragged myself from bed to the kitchen hoping to find
milk in the fridge. I noticed that the lights were on in the living room. I wasn't surprised, as my husband cannot sleep a minute post dawn irrespective of when
he slept or what he drank the previous night, or what day of the week it was. I
opened the fridge and this very familiar nostalgic tune that emerged from the living
room immediately caught my attention.
It was our wedding reception video.
Unlike
the wedding reception/whatever videos of all you people reading me, mine is not
something I am proud of. The first time I watched this video, two weeks after
my wedding reception, I cried inconsolably and vowed never to watch it again,
ever. Seven years later here we were, back on that stage wearing something so hideous that it does not even have a name. Where we found such atrocious clothes,
is a question among other things, I am planning to ask God when I meditate in the Himalayas.
The
video was playing, guests walked up the stage handing us nicely wrapped gifts
(clock, casseroles, and bed sheets of course) and smiled proudly at the camera with a sense of accomplishment on their faces.
I admired how some ladies in my family had amazing sartorial choices, that they looked good even in a seven year old video. I then moved my glance back to where the
spotlight was on. ME.
I
do not understand what transpired in the head of this moron, who recorded the video
that day. The camera settings, post processing, ancient grudge, criminal
revenge, no brains whatever reason it is that made us look like lepers.
Revisiting this video gives me a fresh bout of low self-esteem. I tell you, I
looked better at my kid’s classmate’s birthday party last week than when I was
a bride six years younger!
I
look back at my school days, the photo albums from those times. It is all so
incredible…I can’t stop looking at them or show them off to others. Was it
because we wore uniforms instead of self-inflicted, detestable clothes? I do
not know. Is it because the cameras were simpler and even a layman could take
pictures without making the subject look like a monster? May be.
Was
the wedding a wonderful day? Yes it most definitely was.
Does
the cameraman deserve to go to hell? He most certainly does.
Image Courtesy: Here |
I
was still at the living room in my pajamas, disheveled hair and bad breath. My
husband looked at the TV monitor and smiled amusingly at me. I returned a
frown and a noise that sounded more like a roar. He looked around anxiously to find
any possible flying objects. Some part of the screen got blurred; I realized I
needed to wash my eyes. I walked straight to the washroom and noticed that most
of my hair was somewhere from 30 to 50 degree angle to my head. I looked closer
and realized that I looked better straight out of bed in a mirror that dint
have any settings in it.
You
moron cameraman, I will hunt you down some day. I will not be flossing that
day.