Monday, May 16, 2011

GPS torture.

She is the guardian angel who guides us through main and off roads..she leads us not into wrong routes , and delivers us from radars… she shows us through green pastures of the shortest road…she is none other than our lady gadget, the GPS.

When we have absolutely no idea or even a sense of direction about the place we want to go, she comes to our rescue.
‘After 400 meters, keep right’..’Follow the course of the road for 8 kilometers’ ..’Observe speed limit’…’At the roundabout take the third exit’..says she, and when we err, she forgives us by saying , ‘Route recalculation’ and routes us back on track.

After having gracefully rendered so much service, and helping us reach home after every weekend, my hubby heartlessly replaced her voice to that of another female, who sounded very stylish with a fake accent. Poor Lady gadget. She silenced herself and gave way to the new quirky female, who was more concerned of her accent than in route calculation. After much argument from my side to get rid of her, hubby updated the GPS altogether, and now it’s a guy, and his dialogues are different too.

Instead of ‘Observe speed limit’, the new guy says …’Observe speed limit…we will always stick to it, wont we?’ (sounds gay, doesn’t he) and instead of ‘Follow the course of the road’, he says ‘Follow the course of the road and everything will be just fine’.

This guy is unbelievably annoying and more often sounds like a priest talking to his lost sheep. The more I am irritated by his comments, the more amused is my better half.
So one fine day, we were helplessly lost and had to turn on the priest for his righteous sermon, which presumably leads us from darkness to light . Halfway through the lost world, the road looked familiar to us and I told hubby…’Now that we know the rest of the road … can we switch off this navigation torture’…hubby nodded but dint show any signs of switching it off. I repeatedly urged him to switch off the damn thing, each time my decibel levels rising, and then came his reply.

“Please keep quiet, and everything will be just fine”.


  1. LOL! I loved the ending part :D Jeez, and it wasn't annoying when the GPS man voice was doing the talking.

    Funny how I was gonna write that you should post more often and you just did. Keep writing hun :)

  2. Loved the last bit,,,, good post again :)

  3. oh we could get attached to anything!! last lines were awesome though!! :) keep writing...

  4. LOL!!! Good post! :) I bet he replaced it with a male voice cos he couldn't bear the torture of 2 females talking at the same time! :P We had used a rented GPS once while abroad and there was this emotionless female who told us the route, and hubby used to call her 'Monica chechy'. He had all these Google maps printed out for back up, but Monica chechy was so perfect that I almost had the feeling that he was falling in love with her! So, even though I was secretly relieved when we had to return it, we kinda missed her after that! Anyway, great gadget and greater post! Keep writing! :)

  5. Ana: :D Thanks ! Will post whenever I can :)

    Moonlite: Thanks, dear !

    Maithili: True...Now I realize how much I miss that female !

  6. Praphul : LOL !!

    Anjuchechi: Thanks , dee ! Ya true...2 female voices can be tough to take ! And 'Monica chechi' ?? ROFL !

  7. Who said that, the Gay GPS guy? :D

    or your hubby, his sermons seem to be contagious, your hubby's imbibing.

    Interesting post.

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  8. Hahaha! I used to always think you've a wonderful sense of humor. Though, of late I think your hubby is a couple of steps ahead of you at that ;)

  9. @Blasphemous Aesthete: U think the GPS guy would ask me to keep quiet ? LOL
    And thanks !

    Blunt: oho ! Athu sheri ! Anyway he will be happy to know ! Thanks Blunt !

  10. Haa...yeah I have noticed that people treat voice overs in GPRS as real people. A friend of mine even had a name for the lady in his GPRS. He had named her Jill. :-)

    I too dont like guys giving advising :-P

  11. Nice one... Can't imagine a male voice for the GPS .. Have got too used to our Route Ammachi as we call her.

  12. Insignia: hahaha yeah many people have names for GPS voices :D

    Sunitha: Ammachi ! LOL !