Saturday, May 21, 2011

The Real Beauty...

She is not a celebrity. Nor does she belong to the entertainment or beauty business. She was the fruitful branch of a once illustrious family tree…which was eventually chopped off.

Two decades ago. I might have been six or seven then, when a grand wedding took place in our family. I was one of the flower girls. It took place with much pomp and show…the bride as usual, was the subject of speculations for multiple reasons, one of them being, that she hailed from an aristocratic family- hence significantly more refined than the family she was married into.  Her charm and humility won hearts and spread cheer around.

Soon, she flew with her husband to Sydney, to pursue her career and family life. A couple of years passed by, and the marriage started losing its rhythm, and gave way to noise. By then, she had two kids, and life got thorny and harsh. Harmony and peace gave way to domestic abuse. Back home, people started poking their noses into the issue and sadistically gossiped their hearts content on the painful series of events. She and her family were demoralized and wounded by verbal abuses by her husband and parents in law.

And no, they weren’t done yet. She had to be hospitalized when her husband’s arguments took the physical form. Violent living room and hospital scenes started taking place in court rooms. After months of struggle through false allegations and downright brutality, she was set free from the chains of the wild misfortune which blew her life like a storm. She was still a young mother, her parents crushed beyond words and kids deprived of a family.

Giving up was not an option. Turbulent waters had passed, and the sailing should continue. She raised the kids, excelled in career, and moved on. Her life was dedicated to the normal upbringing of her children, in the absence of the father figure and this was no cakewalk for a working mother. In the hearts of her parents and few others who knew and cared for her, the wound remains…and the series of events made them doubt whether God really existed…and even if He does, why does such injustice happen to good people. Such were the neglect and harassment she faced, at an age when any woman would long for love, affection, and more importantly, a secure family life. 

Zillions of women might have undergone situations like these. Some are known to us, many go unnoticed and others just give up. But what makes this woman different is, once at a court room she was legally separated from an abusive man…but to this day, when she comes down to her hometown, she visits her mother in law, who once played the evil supporting actress to her downfall,  but is bedridden now with old age and related ailments.  

Who is this old lady to her now? How do we define the empathy she exhibits to this old woman?

Compassion… un-fabricated, unmatched, pure and scarce.

Her visits triggers tears in the eyes of this lady who was once her mother in law. the same living room where years back her tears pooled up but was overlooked and walked upon.

 Today, do we realize how each of us holds on to grudges on trivial issues? Let alone an encounter, can we even think about any individual who abused us or our parents without a frown? How effortlessly do we carry a mountain of ego within us and consider it indispensable? Have forgiveness and selfless love become endangered emotions?

Waistlines widen, hairlines give way to scalp, skin sag, teeth fall out, and bones weaken. Physical beauty fades away with each passing day… but real beauty does not.  

'Real beauty' is the beauty of character, the compassion which knows no reasons, the love which forgives, and the perseverance which stays on forever… and needless to say, she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.

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  1. beautiful! very of character is real beauty. I have one such woman at my home and she is my all forgiving mother.. She was left to herself by my grandparents at native place, while the rest of the siblings were given a safe upbringing in the city. She was all of 5 then. now when my grandparents are ailing, she is the only one who looks after them. None of the city bred children care. Strength of character is what makes such women different and beautiful!

    this post really touched my heart..

  2. beauty is within, not about the appearance!!
    she is surely a lady of substance,,,

    good write up again, :)

  3. Hi Anita,
    It is difficult to imagine that kind of forgiveness..sometimes circumstances really kill whatever iota of compassion that you feel. It is okay to be less bothered about those who never bothered to the extent of cruelty with you!

    This woman then...hats off to her!:-)

  4. The last part was the best.
    As long as we harbour grudge and say to ourselves "let her/him suffer" we ar hurting ourselves.
    Blessed are those kids whom she brought up. They must have got the right guidance through their growing up stages, though there must be some scars which must have been inflicted when they "saw" what their mother had to go through.

  5. That is what being Human is, in a human.

    Beautiful write up, and the lady is really worth admiration.

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  6. Maithili: Glad to know that it touched you. And yes, your mother too falls into such a category of women of substance.

    Moonlite: Thanks dear.

  7. Suruchi: Absolutely. I think that way too.. everyone needs to taste their own medicine... may be majority thinks that way...and thats why such women stand apart from all of us.

    Hadock: Rightly said, Haddock.

  8. Praful: Thanks !

    Blasphemous Aesthete: So true.

  9. Forgive and forget may sound easy but is definitely hard to practice.....the woman in the truest sense moved on and looking back she was able to feel compassion for her tormentors. Very few make the effort really.

  10. Anita, for some reason I'm finding it very difficult to comment on ur blog. I've been here 3 times on different days but each time had to go away without saying anything. I have a feeling the problem is with my laptop and its settings itself[I've noticed the same problem with a few other blogs].
    If it is not too much of a bother can u make ur comment space detach itself into another window[tht small window]. Get it wht I mean???? Only if u dont mind ofcourse:-)

  11. Respect! For this post, for that lady, and for each and every woman who emerged from the setback of a broken marriage, battle-hardened, but with her pride intact!

    Not everyone can forgive and forget, I certainly can't. But am surely glad not everyone's like me :)

    Loved it :D

  12. You've defined it so beautifully when you wrote..
    'Real beauty' is the beauty of character, the compassion which knows no reasons, the love which forgives, and the perseverance which stays on forever…' ..Beautiful and a lovely post Anita! :)..Keep writing..:)

  13. Nancy: So, true. I cant even imagine even forgiving such people...thats why I really think so high of her...
    And reg comments section I will try 2 do the needful... :)

  14. Blunt: Even I cant forgive like that ! Same here....its good there are people like this lady...and not everyone are like us :D

    Amar: Thank u so much !

  15. loved it>>for the style and for the value uve given to Women...Good one di!

  16. LOL at ur 2nd comment and thanks;-D
    Blogger is giving me a lot of problems these days and I'm seriously thinking about......;-)

  17. This article is very informative. Great stuff here.

  18. Anita, I see the mirrored image of your thoughts here.. Like it a lot.. here is a heart expressing what does true beauty means

    Someone is Special

  19. Thats beautiful.

    Yes, how many would forget the pain and torture? It takes lot of guts and selflessness to do that :)

  20. Compassion Indeed.

    She is a gr888 soul...My best wishes.

  21. Hey Anita, you have echoed your thoughts in a manner that has done complete justice to her.. Loved your post.. :)

  22. Nancy: :D Yeah true..blogger is having its own problems.

    Someone is Special: Thanks :)

  23. Insignia: Totally.

    Makk: True. Thanks for dropping by :)

    Sunshine: Thank u...But I always wanted to express more and feel she deserves a better write up ! Im however happy I wrote this much atleast.

  24. I suppose for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account.
    [url=]mein blog[/url]

  25. beautiful. thats all i got to say :)

  26. Hi Anita,

    Congrats...nicely written.

    By the time I reached the end, i had forgotten that this was a Real Beauty entry...and then whamo...the last para hit home.




  27. Anita,a lovely blog..deep thoughts ,great reflections..loved every bit of it.keep writing.
    love Renu

  28. that is what we call " A TRUE HUMAN SOUL" affectionate and caring..

    beautifully crafted expressions
    nice post, touchy and very fragile i would say...

    do visit if time permits

  29. lovely...I read it now..
    heart winning ...absolutely beyond words.

  30. Haila how did i miss this beautiful post. I respect this lady. Congrats for the b'day gift :) first chotu and now 10K this must be your best b'day :)

  31. Thank u so much, Harman.

    Gayathri: I respect her too. The beauty in her. I can never think like her. Thanks, yes, this bday was the coolest ever !

  32. Written well.

    Though, I have never seen such a beauty in real life, my heart feels for her. Hope people at least, will think a bit before jump into things after reading this!

  33. As I web-site possessor I believe the content material here is rattling excellent , appreciate it for your hard workYou should keep it up forever! Good Luck.