Way to Exit...

Hmm..Currently I'm in no mood to write, but I can’t seem to abandon my blog just because a drastic wind of change swept over my life. Well, I resigned my job in Bangalore and have landed in Muscat, in a product based company. (Time to play client now ;-) ). It is high time I shared some details about people in my previous firm who even managed to make exit process complicated for me.


In the beginning of the month of April, I dropped a small bombshell titled ‘resignation’, in the form of an email, which was expected to bombard my team of a few programmers. However it took the guise of a nuclear bomb and smoked out the entire project including the teams who were onsite and I started getting international calls with strange people (whose names I’ve seen only in the ‘Cc’ of emails) asking me soberly why I took this decision all of a sudden, in a fake mushy tone as if their life and living depended solely on the lines of code I was painfully and regretfully writing. Many a times I indirectly I asked them questions which in plain language means ‘Who in God’s name are you?’

The biggest reason behind all the fake concerns flowing in from all over the world is that, if people leave the project, it requires immediate explanation from the project managers to the senior management. So they come down from being the commanding morons that they are to be the forged ‘perfect’ boss and try their level best to pull you down from prospering any further. Well, my case was different. My supervisor was this guy who doesn’t know how to talk to people ( I have seriously come to believe there are a pack of dogs at his house to which he commands ‘Sit’, ‘Eat’ etc and he practices the same tone with people who reports to him). He called me on phone, very impolitely demanding explanation on why I am leaving, to which I was itching up to my toenails to say ‘You are why’.

On the day I was running around departments to get clearances for exit, I was not aware of some formalities and approached him. Well his response was ‘I don’t know, I never exited from here’ coupled with an evil grin. The guy who sat next to him then knew that I was exiting and said , ‘Ohh you decided to resign, is it? Then we can’t help you’. This happened with a bay of people watching as if they were watching a saas bahu serial with the bahu getting beaten up.

However I managed to vent out my frustration at the innocent HR who during her fateful duty called me for an exit interview and I talked 40 minutes nonstop. I am sure she must also be thinking of ways to quit or opt for a role change now. Well that was the least I could do. :D

And yeah, on my last working day, the last person I pinged from my desktop was my supervisor, to whom I wanted to say Bubye. I really don’t know why. Just a bubye, and no ‘thanks for support’,’or thanks for anything else which he wasn’t …and this is how the conversation went.

Me: Hi

Supervisor: What do you want now? For exit formalities contact Mr.JP.

Me: Okay.

And that was it. Well, we can’t change some people or expect even humanitarian traits from them.
 I have no regrets.

The weekend trip that was..

Green picturesque hills, stunning meadows, spectacular streams and everything that is romantic. However the guys were more interested in capturing butterflies, frogs and flies when my friend and I wasted our strawberry lip balmy smiles and blow dried hair staring at them.

Yo and there is a big rock. The perfect place to pose for a couple snap. With a lot of effort I climbed up the rock and waited for him. Then he came and stood next to me. I pulled him, and tried to lean on him.

Then…

‘No! Move out of my reebok logo!’

Oh so there was a logo on the shirt.

So I decided to pose alone, near the car.

And.. ‘Move away from the alloy wheels’!

So he is going alone for the next trip.




And that was my 50th post :-)

Online B'day bumps!!!

My sister's b'day falls tomorrow, May 5th. Well she thinks that I am trying to compose a poem of praise for her. So here is my little bday present ;-)

Whoever visited my blog till date knows my Papa and Mummy too well.

Now its time to torment my readers again, as I introduce you to the world’s cutest little weirdo, My Sister.

She is biologically my elder sister, but psychologically, NOT. I will not be discussing weird stuff about her here, cos if I do,  she will unleash a beast capable enough to destroy my will to live.

Just discussing few normal things about her.

She has the weirdest taste in men. Look around and find a random weirdly dressed and insignificant guy. Thats her type.

She is a fan of Chennai Super Kings and spent more time in the toilet than in front of the TV during IPL finals. When they won, she threw a party and treat to her friends and blew up the salary for the month of April. Well I doubt whether the Super Kings themselves ever did that.

She says she had a blackout for...like ten minutes on the day of All Kerala Engineering Entrance examination. ( She is a victim of hyper tension with customized symptoms)

 

My cousin once stuck a sewing needle in her finger and had to rush to hospital. My sister accompanied her trying hard not to look at it. At the hospital, she accidentally saw it and fainted. There were more people gathered around her than my cousin whose operation got delayed cos someone ‘stole her thunder’ :D

She can solve the toughest of Math and Physics equations, but cannot get herself to draw a diagram. Convincing Mummy to draw diagrams in her Biology Record book the previous day of submission always created havoc at home.(She cannot draw straight lines, even with a scale and pencil, but can draw resistors with them).

She has to use the toilet  every 5 minutes on each and every day she has ever written an examination.

Her wardrobe constitutes dresses, all of the same design, in variations of orange or maroon.
( But I can trust her more for honest opinions, than looking at the mirror myself).

Most of her close friends are  at least ten years younger than her.

If she doesn’t like Ms.X, she calls her the most cunning and wicked person she’s ever seen. When she meets Ms.Y and realizes that she is cunning too, she starts to be all praises for Ms.X.

She hates all animals..birds too..or let me put it this way..she hates anything that’s not human. But of course, loves eating them.

When I told her on a long distance call that I cut my finger while chopping vegetables, and added that a little 'blood' came, she felt giddy and wanted to sit down.

So that makes her one in a million :D

Yes she is, and thats my sister ...

   Happy Birthday...and many more happy returns of the day !! 

(Please don't kill me..)

Elevator Fun :-D

In my office, presumably fresher guys (hair stuck up like they got a shock/ low waist pants starting from the thighs/ tip of shoes reminding that of tipu sultan’s/ piercing either near eyebrow or ear/ tattoo/ wearing a watch the size of a clock/ shirt buttoned or should I say ‘unbuttoned’ unprofessionally/ annoyingly whistling or humming always)  are usually irritating when they use the elevator.

When  the elevator reaches the floor of the above mentioned species, they block its doors by standing right at the entrance and start calling their friends, who are sometimes still at workstations or at restrooms!! It is not like it is the last elevator in that route. I have been delayed and irritated many times due to this, but never told anything. No one says anything here, you see.

Few weeks back, I got on the elevator, and there was this foreign white lady, very smart and polite, and a few others inside. She gave me a smile and said a ‘hi’ with elegance. I returned that. The elevator carried on to the next floor. The doors opened to what sounded like a fish market. There was a huge noise, and people deciding whether to get in or not, and one guy quickly came and blocked the elevator door and called aloud, ‘Hey…Rakesh ! Priya! Pooja!..come..!’ The people there who were alerted by the calling of names, turned to him sluggishly and said ‘ Arrey yaar agle lift pe jaayenge…’ To this, this guy said…’ No you come..’ and he dint finish that sentence.

The foreign lady in the elevator tapped on his shoulder and said loudly
 ‘ Either u get in, or just GET OUT!’

The gang of fresher species fell silent, while this guy sheepishly walked inside the elevator and the doors closed behind him. He had hit rock bottom.

Everyone were silent after that. The elevator moved on. The air was thick with controlled laughter of everyone and the damaged dignity of the fresher . However I made a very weird noise through my nose as I got breathless in the process of controlling my laughter.


This guy looked at me, burning with rage. I guess it hurt his nonexistent pride.

As the elevator reached the cafeteria, I got out and pretended to dial someone and laughed my lungs out on a fake call.

Since then, every time I saw that guy , I got infuriated glares from him. It makes my day :D

Just 'google' it!

When I talk about something I assume that the listeners are either aware or know something about it. That’s all Papa does. But he is mentally too extravagant that he takes the luxury of assuming that we are all updated on current affairs and events at the stock market. I know he went too far on that. And I have learnt to nod very convincingly to it, as I check the newspaper only on Fridays to check which movie has released. Well he already has a good idea about me, and pretends that my nod is genuine. I guess he still remembers that I asked him this Easter, whether the ‘Trivandrum Chennai Mail’ is actually a goods train (my tickets were already booked in that)…and also ‘is the train going in this direction or that’ while standing right near the engine.


Also, over the years, I have learnt not to ask the question, ‘where?’ . Both Papa and Mummy has this habit of keeping every item at the right places, and I’ve never seen them searching for anything in all these years ( just sometimes they search for me). And at the start of the day I’d be searching for tooth brush, which is met with a cold stare and ironically, it sets me ablaze. One is denied the fundamental right to search. After marriage things change but my habit of misplacing things continued.

On one unfortunate day, hubby started frantically searching for original documents of the car. We had just returned from hometown the week before and it had been missing ever since. The search continued to the kitchen, the wardrobe, shoe rack…After some time I heard him calling to his home to check whether it is there. His mom searched all over the place, but in vain. Now he turned to me and asked the earth shattering question…’call your mom and ask her to check whether it is there’. I stood bewildered.

( ASIDE: There is a shelf in my home where there are serially numbered files labeled ‘car’, ‘scooter’, ‘Insurance’ etc which contains original and atleast two attested photocopies, and also a laminated index with file number and title to locate the file.)

So coming back to the question…

WHAT???????

I would rather choose to die than ask that question to my Mom.

We needed to talk. I patiently told him, that either we have to visit my parents and search for the documents secretly, or just search elsewhere. There is no way we can ask them that. Hubby was surprised. Very. Looking at me mouth opened. Well, Papa’s reaction would be no different if I told him about this.

It was absolutely something to think about. Hubby was stunned knowing that we couldn’t search for anything at my house, and everyone is expected to keep things at the right places! I lived with it, but it is so weird for others! Or probably as I have told earlier, should be a generation gap issue. :D



And the documents were inside the car itself.

Men trivia.. :)

Men have their own weird rules for everything.

This is with reference to the two men I personally know, my papa and my husband.

If I ask questions on any of these rules, I’d be shuttling between my Dad’s house and my husband’s. So, to be safe I just nod along.

Here are some always-nod-along stuff. 

1.       Buying a dress is sheer waste of money. But spoilers and alloy wheels are essential for a living.

2.       One can eat puddings all the time, it’s no problem. But tea should be drunk without sugar to keep diabetes under control.

3.       One is advised day in and out against watching too much TV, as it gives strain to the eyes. But smoking seems to be good for health.

4.       Christmas tree is not manly, but Nivea moisturizer is.

5.       Chocolates and oily snacks cause cholesterol, but beef fried with grated coconut is good for the heart.

6.     They walk at 60 km/hr and think that others are crawling.

 7.       Men do not stay in wife’s house for more than a night –rule followed religiously by both.

8.       Reading the Bible while at church is cowardly. Turning around to see if anyone is watching him pray is not.

9.       Hitting the pillar behind and ruining the paint on the bumper while in reverse gear is because the ‘pillar settings’ are not good. When I do the same, it is because of negligence.

 10.   News about shortage of drinking water is not so serious. Cos, there is no shortage of beer yet.

11.   The helmet should not be touched as my ring and bangle might cause scratches on it. While at the mall this is not applicable.

12.   News about someone getting married is not a good news for either. Pitying and sympathizing is sure to follow.

13.   After coming back from a marriage, neither remembers the bride’s name . Both remembers the name of caterer and menu.

14.   Till date, neither can say whether I am wearing a salwar or a kurta pyjama.

15.   A patiala bottom is always looked at with sympathy.

 

16.   Buying a new mobile when there are already two unused ones at home is a necessity. If I talk to relatives on long distance calls, it invites illogical calculation on how to save money spent on STD and use it to buy a new mobile!

17.   Two minutes after entering a crowded mall, I lose sight of him. But if I am holding the camera or keys to the car, he will protectively walk behind me. :D











Well, I'd rather also put it this way.. these are also reasons why I adore them so much..!!
By the way, I turned 1 on blogosphere :-) Thought of blowing my own trumpet here :D

Home-hunting ..

It is  fun home hunting in Bangalore. Being a notoriously immature couple and dangerously incapable of making good decisions, we set out to make popular beliefs come true.


And yeah, I called one of the not-so-popular builders last day to enquire the starting price for a villa. The receptionist wanted to know our budget. I still thank God to this minute that I dint tell her my budget lest she would have heard the biggest joke of her life…cos.. the starting price of a villa was Rs. 2.6 crores.

Here is why. The villa is in close proximity to the newly constructed Forum Value Mall. We have to take an auto and pay  Rs.40 to get a half kilo onions, but being so close to Forum, we can buy Gucci sunglasses every day, you see.

15 radio songs and 25000 ads later, we reached the site which holds another 'affordable' piece of land. One needs to have trekking shoes and goggles  to reach the exact location. The builder calls it a 'township'. Seriously, barren land, not a tree or road in sight. My husband wondered aloud on why there were no trees, and the builder told that soon there will be…pointing to a budding mango tree the size of a weed over there. If you see the website..it sounds like a Shakespearean tale…’with acres of lush,  green grasses and shady trees which gives your home the soothing comfort of quality, luxury and..blah... blah... blah..."
 I truly admire their immense foresight to the future.

 It was very convincing when the builder also added, that the area was very secure, and we don't need to have pet dogs there…pointing to a gang of street dogs growling at us. Probably he meant to say that we'd have to  tame wild animals to fight these dogs.

Hmmm.

God please help me find a home.

www.confusion.com

I was trying to find where Sangeeth Theatre was... and here is what I found..:-(

Happy Boyz, and happy Gals!

International Women’ day, women’s reservation bill getting passed…oh my ! too much going on in my life. haha
And some, foolishly believe it is going to bridge gender gap.
It is always better to have the gap , you know? Otherwise, what is the difference?
:-D
I can’t help but say that among animals and birds, the male species are more attractive ( yeah they have a purpose for being attractive, I know).

Take for example the Lion.

It looks so sexy with all that fluffy, well maintained, royal mane. I actually gave flying kisses to it at the Bannerghatta National Park (my husband has never been more embarassed).
However the lioness could be easily mistaken as a dog if it weren’t in the same cage as the Lion.

See the peacock, with the bushy tail and bright colours. Pea hen is like an overgrown ordinary hen. No wonder they don’t keep them at zoos.
However, the peacock with all those colours , feathers and rain dance… Seriously, not manly, dude..! Think about it..! Be a man!
Ok I guess its high time I stopped this.. I am questioning the gender of our National Bird.

You know, the cafeteria in my office is jam packed at noon. Getting a chair and table so that one may sit and eat is close to impossible.
What we can do is, take the plate with the inedible lunch in it and look pathetically around. And ask some guy/ girl for the vacant seat next to them. The next thing I know, some guy will signal me with his hands to sit there. Whereas, if it is some girl alone in a table with vacant chairs all around her and I ask for the chair,’ she cruelly responds, ‘Oh I'm sorry.... one of my friends will come…she might need this chair to keep her bag…and that chair to keep her leg..and the other chair also...!#$%^&***&^%

You know, girls are such a horror.

When it comes to friendship, guys are definitely better. A gang of girls as best friends? Works only if they are nuns.

When it comes to choosing restaurants… guys win.

When it comes to choosing a holiday location, girls win.

Choosing a car? Guys win.

Choosing the colour for that car? Girls win.

Humor sense? Guys win! (Girls try to find the hidden meaning and intention of the joke, and by the time they realize, its too late to laugh)

Cleanliness and good memory? Girls win!

Shopping and dress sense? This one belong to girls. We do not have opponents here.

Bowling? Guys win!

Carroms? Girls win!

Marriage? Noone wins!

Yeah! We are made for each other!!

Workstation Grievances :-(

So I am in another facility of my firm for the past three weeks.


Day one, I am just roaming around cafeterias of different buildings trying to find which cafeteria is best for pop corn.
Day two, I have a workstation configured with all client connectivity, outlook and office communicator, and a desk phone.
So in the open cubicle next to mine, I noticed a lady, around 35, coughing.    Unstoppably.

Days passed.

The cough doesn’t stop. Not even once did she bother to cover or use a towel. She just opens her mouth, coughs nauseatingly into the air. And sometimes into her laptop, mobile or desk phone. Now this lady is a manager, very annoyingly loud and rude to her subordinates. So now it is clear why people don’t react.

As Papa and Mummy would be in their respective workplaces, I call them separately during office hours.
Me: Hello Papa..
*cough* *cough*
Papa: What happened Anu? Why are you coughing?
Me: Its not me Papa, just a lady who happen to sit near me.
Papa: And she sits so close to you? Stay away from her!!
Me: So what else… how is work going on?
*cough* *cough*
Papa: You should actually tell her to cover during cough.
Me: So did u both go to see Ammamma yesterday? How is she doing?
*cough* *cough*
Papa: What the hell? How can people behave so irrationally? She is spraying germs into your mouth!
Me: I hear Ammamma is not doing so great. Why dint you bring her home until she recovers?
*cough* *cough*
Papa: You buy her a towel! I will pay you for that!
Me: Okay, bye. *SLAM*

After a few days.

Me: Hi Mummy..you in college now?
*cough* *cough*
Mummy: Dint that sicko recover from that damn cough?
Me: So when are you coming to Bangalore next?
*cough* *cough*
Mummy: How much common sense is required for someone to use a tissue or towel while coughing?
Me: Better come during summer. Bangalore is pleasant in summer compared to Trivandrum.
*cough* *cough*
Mummy: You have such a big mouth for everything else. Why haven’t you told her about the matter?
Me: For God’s sakes , she is a Manager!!
*cough* *cough*
Mummy :[at the peak of her volume]:  How does it matter whether she is a manager or a sweeper!!!!!!!

Sensing a potential threat to my job, I cut that call.

The following week, I suffer from unbearable tooth ache. I update this on facebook and twitter, and people come and console me saying ,’ dear, this is why I say, that you need to brush your teeth’. Haha, very funny.
I even take a leave and stay home due to the pain. The phone rings.

Mummy: Hello Anu..
Me: Hii Mummy..!
Mummy: How is that coughing manager doing?
Me: !!!!!!!!!!$#@#$#%^$^%&^*(&)(
Mummy: How am I supposed to know that you have tooth ache!
Me: You should first ask how I am doing !
*SLAM*

Processor Woes. :-(

 Sometimes it kills me that I am not able to say want I actually want to say. My head, which is my inbuilt processor, is probably processing a lot of requests concurrently, and is inherently slow. So my verbal communication is often delayed and quick responses if any are not logical. And the situations that I get myself into are very complicated even for my processor to interpret, and it takes some time even when I get to see the logical side of it. But some daily life scenarios take a higher priority with my processor. For example, I just met one lady in my project and she introduced herself as ‘Silky’. The very second I found myself laughing at her. At the same time, I also thanked God that my parents did not name me like that…cos if they did, it would have been embarrassingly contradictory. Anyways, the processor works diligently when there is something to laugh. But when there is something serious to think, I would be left wondering whether the existence of a processor is just a myth.




Today, I was crossing one of the busiest roads in Bangalore… the one near Dairy Circle.

I crossed half way through (with some two wheelers wondering aloud whether the road belonged to my Dad… hmm…I wish it was) and waited in the separator awaiting the police to interfere. Another girl was standing near me, wearing an ID card similar to mine, and a shawl covering her forehead and cheeks. Two small eyes were partially visible. In order to cross Bangalore roads and end up alive at the other end, two eyes are not sufficient. This wonder woman was covering half her eyes also. The police came, stopped the vehicles and signaled us to cross to the other half of the road. At the very instant, the wonder woman took out an umbrella and pointed it near me. The next second, it opened in my stomach, the pointed tip of which had now touched my intestines. I yelled with pain, but the wonder woman swooshed past, and reached the other side.
My processor rushed to my stomach and was busy consoling it, that any communication to the verbal end was terminated.
Back in my workstation, I am painfully regretting, in regular intervals, why I hadn’t given her a piece of my mind.

5 minutes:

I should have said, ‘Don’t you have eyes!!!’

30 minutes:

I should have said, ‘ What in God’s name are u doing??’

2 hours:

I should have simply taken the umbrella and thrown it on the road.

4 hours:

I should have taken that umbrella and given her a good thrashing.

6 hours:

I should have killed her.

Back home:

*Wailing* Mummy, one girl opened her umbrella into my stomach..sob sob..and it is paining u know..

Mummy: What were you doing when she took out the umbrella? You should have moved and given some space!

*Wailing harder* I know…I know… Don’t talk to me *SLAM*

The art of expressive living :)

I can  interpret facial expressions and convey entire sentences or even paragraphs with just my eyes and a few other facial muscles. Those who thought I am an illogical creature, please note: I can read minds too. This being my trademark quality, I will not share the trick with you, but I can give some inferences with examples.








* I was going to my native place over the weekend. I had to travel in a jam packed bus till railway station, with a back pack trice as heavy as me.( Now don’t ask me why my bag was heavy, as my eyeliner and lip gloss constitute majority of the weight..whereas his shaving kit, and shoes are lighter than feather) .Putting it down would occupy the space of at least 5 average passengers. With one hand on the bar at the ceiling of the bus, I almost hung there, with the back pack weighing me down heavily. One lady, about my age, sitting very comfortably in a seat, was enjoying the beauty of the concrete jungle outside, but is very much uneasy by my presence. At a major pressing of brakes, I lost balance and hit another woman who was also standing, and the tag of my back pack touched the comfortably sitting lady. She gave me a stare which said:

“What the bloody hell are you doing… you insignificant creep, with a very significant luggage”

At this look, the hell broke loose( inside my head). I gave an expression back which said.

“Please pardon me, if I did the unimaginable sin of touching you, your majesty the Queen”.

At this expression, the lady gave me another expression which was difficult to comprehend. ( It must have been some regional expression).



* A five minute incompliance of corporate punctuality would raise the eyebrows of some managers in a perfect shape. (Sometimes I wish I had such shapely eyebrows)
These raised eyebrows with eyes balls popping out of their destined sockets, follows you to your seat with rigorous lifting the sleeve to stare at the watch .
This expression reminds you of the deadline with exact date and time up to microseconds. It also tells ‘Don’t come to me later asking for extension of deadline’.
However sporting any expression as a sign of retaliation to this would have very unpleasant consequences. Just think of some software code, and your face would become as expressionless as is required for the current scenario.



*As soon as I step into the office bus, I take out my ipod and be engrossed in it. Some ladies come in late and create a huge hullabaloo inside the bus. One such day, I accidentally touched the screen of my ipod, and it displayed the song I was listening to in a font so big that some of it went out of the screen. One contemporary lady saw that I was listening to ‘words’ by Boyzone and gave me a cold look , which said:

“ ‘words’? and ‘boyzone’? !! This song was released during the dinosaur era!’

I gave another expression, two fingers on my nose, eyebrows formed like a tilde.
“ What an awful smell! Don’t you ever take bath! ‘

Beauty Business!

It feels like it has been ages since I blogged. There were some instances wherein I really wanted to write, but then anger and sentiments wouldn’t make good writing (neither does it make good reading!). So I let it cool down. Now I am back to Bangalore, after a ten day vacation at the in laws, and the silver lining is that I got to meet my parents as well.

The trip to hometown had been a major function- a wedding. Wedding is good business for the beauticians. We give them gold, wedding dress, veil, and whatever it takes to dress for the event. They put it on us and make big bucks. It reminds me of my own wedding. A month before the wedding, my Mom calls up the famous beautician, who has many celebrities as clients in her credit.


Mom: Hello?

Ms.Beautician: Yes?

Mom: My daughter’s marriage on the 28th, next month. I wanted an appointment.

Ms.Beautician: I am so sorry, there are around 12 appointments already.

Mom: Oh, in that case, could you recommend some place you know?

Ms.Beautician: Well in that case, if you can be here before 6:00am..

Mom: We’ll be there. Your rate..?

Ms.Beautician: Ten Thousand rupees.

Papa stood next to Mom, trying hard to eavesdrop the ‘rate’ part. His jaws fell wide open when he heard the rate.

“Ten Thousand Rupees..! That means will she be providing the gold and saree as well?”

If you thought Papa asked that sarcastically, you are wrong. Papa actually asked that out of innocence and curiosity. Whatever that was, it drew some skeptical looks from Mom and me.

The big day came…and ten thousand bucks were utilized in a matter of three hours. I dint like the lip liner, lipstick and lip gloss colors. Once out of the beautician’s area of control, I wiped off the lipstick with a handkerchief borrowed from Papa. Soon relatives and friends hovered around me, and some uttered feel-good compliments and looked at me admiringly. One of them asked Papa,’ So Anu got dressed from Ms.SK right? How much did she charge?’

Papa: (looks to the heavens)…Ten Thousand..! And Anu just wiped off a five thousand here in my handkerchief’.

Posing for the photographers, I glanced at them and got to see the peals of laughter, followed by a display of a lip-shaped red lipstick on a fresh white handkerchief.

Duly noted..!

Conversations with friends have suddenly narrowed down to husbands, in laws, cooking, the indisciplined maid at home and other stuff which once I never knew existed...Oh My..! I painfully realized that our capability to pass comments and nickname others and forget their actual names have been destroyed. Yes, now my ears and all other organs which are supposed to do the LISTENING part have trained themselves to do their torturous duties. It is usually about Thunderbird, Sony DVD Player, Canon 500D, Apple laptop or the like..!! And yeah, the enthusiasm is often met with a curious expression of mine :)


I am a brilliant actress you see.

When asked very romantically as to what he needs as a wedding anniversary gift and gleefully replying ‘Ya! That would be ... a stabilizer for the home theatre’ came as a slap on the face. But coming early from office that day and giving me a huge pocket money with permission to buy whatever I want is duly noted!

That my Dad says not to drink juices from local stores to avoid cholera and other deadly diseases is poorly misinterpreted by the daring husband as ‘spoonfed and pampered to bits’. But, buying an egg puff to a hunger stricken child while at the store is duly noted.

That multiplexes are for English movies and misjudging Hindi and Malayalam movies as not worth a multiplex ticket is disgusting. But a Saturday special ‘come lets go to forum’ but saving a surprise ticket for ‘3 idiots ‘is duly noted.

Hesitating to visit my home whenever we are in town and making a huge fuss about the distance and time required is painful. But talking cheerfully to my parents on phone and making them feel like he is a son they never had is duly noted!

Getting increasingly impatient while I choose a dress at a store is embarrassing. But enquiring whether I liked it and paying the bills without any haste is duly noted!

Reminding me of his Mom’s culinary skills is discouraging. But initiating to have lunch from office when he understands that I dint  have the time to cook, is duly noted!

Men are from Mars and women from Venus, but we nag and pester not because you are unacceptably weird, but because most of the time you tend to be in Mars itself..This is the only way to make you listen! But even when you are seemingly in Mars, the big heart that’s inside is duly noted!

Generation Gap ..!!!

This Christmas I learnt one big lesson. Generation Gap. Talk about twitter, orkut, facebook, the geeky Moms and Dads are unlikely to understand and thats what we usually call a Generation Gap. But, its not so. Having my Dad and Dad in law equally active in orkut, facebook and twitter, I never had the right opportunity to use that phrase.

Here are some of my inferences on Generation Gap.

*We are planning a family reunion at Cochin. My parents have to come from Trivandrum, me and my better half from Bangalore.*

Two months before the reunion:

Parents are planning the reunion, whether we should have dinner out, what gifts to buy, coordinating the expected time of our arrival with theirs.

We: ???

One month before the reunion:

Parents book tickets. Tells maid of the trip in advance so that she will be available on those days to water the plants and feed the fishes.

We: ????

Two weeks before the trip:

Parents wrap gifts, keep them packed in respective bags so that it is not forgotten. Other luggage are taken out from cupboards and cleaned.

We: ?????

One week before the trip:

Parents start packing the bags, ensure three copies of train tickets one in each bag, identity cards, gives instructions to the maid, keeps valuable items securely.

We: ??????

Three days before the trip:

Mummy takes her travel checklist and checks away all items and ensures stuff forgotten is packed, and checks them too. Toiletries are kept near the luggage as they have to be packed last.

We: Awake from hibernation.

Two days before the trip:

Parents ensure that no food is kept in the fridge and tries to finish them or give them away.

We: Speed through the traffic to travel offices to see whether any tickets are available and gets the obvious answer. Decide to go in car.

Previous day of the trip:

Mummy is checking a higher level checklist which has options to check whether the other checklists are done.

We stuff clothes into one bag and throw away food from the fridge. Informs peers and Leads of vacation required and see their true colors for leaving on such a short notice. Meanwhile listen to the long distance yelling of parents against driving ten hours at a stretch.

At the reunion:

**Fun Unlimited** (with occasional warnings against driving from Bangalore **Ugh**)

Back Home:

Parents are busy unpacking, putting clothes out for washing, cleaning fish tank, putting back bags in cupboards, taking a fresh copy of checklist for the next trip.

We: ????????????????????????

Generation Gap..!!