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Thursday, August 9, 2018

Hair and Teeth Fiasco

Life sometimes gets ridiculous to the point that we actually pay people to insult us. Every person we pay for any services whatsoever, feel the need to pass on those precious pearls of wisdom, also known as free advice. Truth be told, no one appreciates a third person holding a magnifying mirror to our flaws.

So of late, my dentist and hair stylist have collectively gone on a mission to embarrass me. One busy day I was munching some nuts at work, when a smart nut felt adventurous and decided to explore the remotest gap within my tooth. I tried to push it out using my tongue, which got bruised in the process. Later 562 toothpicks failed in the same mission. Finally I was forced to book an appointment with my dentist, whom I was trying to avoid for the past few months. My teeth had other plans though.

She has the most amazing chair at her office. This chair, almost like a modified recliner, which has everything from a mirror to lights to a multi-purpose mini table attached to it, is one of the reasons I go to her. She was happy to see me; she knew the history behind every one of my teeth, as she has pulled out few and performed root canal in others. All my teeth seemed to say hi to her. She examined my tooth which had the embedded nut, and unleashed her sharp weapons to start excavation which lasted a few minutes until the nut gave up and decided to come out.

She then said ‘Anita you need to get it filled, else the same can happen again’.

I asked ‘This one?’ pointing to the tooth which just parted with the nut.

She replied ‘Honestly, if you ask me, it is not just this tooth. There are a multitude of other teeth which needs to be filled’.

Her assistant stifled a laugh. Until then, that dude was peeping into my mouth as though it had a hidden treasure deep inside.

‘Okay’, I mumbled.

Dentists are brutally honest, I tell you. And about this dude who laughed. I hope he finds his treasure somewhere else.

Later in the week there was an official event for which I had to blow dry my hair.  I called the stylist and got an appointment. I have been going to her for a long time and she is aware of the fact that I used to have thick voluminous hair once upon a time. I sat on her chair. Earlier she used to part my hair into three or four sections and blow dry each. Something like a divide and rule process. She combed and ran her fingers through my hair and gasped, ‘What happened to your hair?’ with an exasperated expression.

Image Courtesy: Here
I felt I owed her an explanation even though it was my hair , it rests on my head and it carries the DNA of my family. I explained that my project gave me no time to come home, forget maintaining hair and skin. She took a smaller comb and as usual divided my scalp into four sections. She clipped the first section only to realize that the other sections were not needed. Meanwhile her floor was full of my hair from the first and only section. “Two more sessions like this and you will be bald” she happily warned me. Actually it was my fault to think that my hair qualified for blow drying. She did not charge me at a usual rate, and added
 “For your hair you can pay half or less for any hair services”.

Yeah. Even the dentist may say the same thing soon once all my teeth are extracted.

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