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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

****Fancy title currently not available****

Yeah the tough is getting goin...deprived of time and thereby ignoring even the basic sensation to pee, spending day, night and weekends in front of a monitor with lots of pending activities on my plate, sitting across tables listening to high end technical talks with the most uninteresting people in the world, gulping down lays and cheetos for lunch essentially at 4:00pm, realizing that I have a gadget called mobile phone after hours of royally ignoring its existence and finding smses from HSBC and Airtel ads flooding my inbox, and so on and so forth. This is currently my situation.No imaginative exaggeration attached. Makes me think I was so virtously destined to toil four years at that fateful instituition to gain this.!I'm certainly not doing what I want to, but basically, I want to do this, I sometimes find it interesting, I am mentally and physically involved in my work, but man, I need a break!

There is a ten minute walk from where I am diligently dropped everyday at 9:00pm to my home, and this is certainly not a joyful stride.I am called to overcome faunal hurdles of pretentiously sleeping dogs which await my arrival to wake up and potentially alert the entire lot of street dogs in that locality.Back home, I thank God for helping me reach home, safe from the deadly jaws of street animals, and for my ego, I would definitely not want to die so early, and for a reason if that ever happens,being bitten by a street dog is ceratinly not acceptable.
Poor blog is cerainly mirroring my thoughts err , frustration now!Poor thing. Damn it! Thats what you are meant to do!Bear the brunt of my momentary contraventions... God, did I deliver my work without getting it quality-checked...oh Holy Lamb of God! Help this poor sinner realize that life is not always the long do I have to wait to reach the Pearly gates?

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Golden eye, through my eyes!

A day at my hometown for a short weekend vacation would mean , tuning my ears to receive high frequency, high decibel sound from digital home theatre playing 007 movies. I have a bunch of little English-movie-savvy cousins too, enough to form a cricket team, who would totally get glued to it, and we would have to wait for the Tsunami to come if we were to make them get up from their seats and wash their hands for lunch/dinner. Small kids na, these are normal natural instincts of age, and that explains the fascination for Bond and his non existent gadgets.

Taking a little time off my errr..productively roaming around the house, I engaged myself to five minutes of ‘Golden Eye’ that they were watching. There’s a forest, Bond , a stunning woman whose name I obviously don’t know, near a small pond. In Bollywood this was a perfect setting for an item dance.
To my surprise, a large tower emerged out of the little pond, sequentially, meter by meter. Meanwhile Bond and the lass looked on. And there was the tower, almost as tall as the towers of our service providers. I screamed (I have to scream to get their attention as the volume was totally out of my hearing capabilities) ‘What is that’ ? ‘Tower’ came the collective reply in a microsecond. The faster they answer, the lesser the time they lose in between, as no one is allowed to distract; they were just trying to be nice to me. And my next question came in the next second itself. By this time, most of them had given me options enough through their facial expressions –It read- just leave or shut up. The former would be a more welcome choice. My next question was a concatenated series of unanswerable questions, may be to Bond himself. ‘ Tower? What do they do with that? What does it actually do? ‘ At this, the expressions I saw on their faces was priceless. Little Bond fans looking at each other and communicating eye to eye as to who will explain that to me.
So my question is answered. Its not just me!!!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I.T woes :(

Have you come across formally dressed people carrying square shaped bags and a belt err tag around their necks,a woebegone expression, forever engrossed in conversations on their bluetooth devices which sounds more or less like, 'Yeah the con call is fixed at 5:00 pm.' ... 'Yeah I'll take care of the presentation'..'I'll do that...' 'Yes, we are working on Saturday..'
These are typical techie conversations.These guys almost drive the nation, and are nothing more than high-level-programmed robots, who has eventually forgotten to smile. Some conversations in their day-to-day lives goes like this.

Husband is onsite. Wife is trying to chat with him on Yahoo messenger.
He: Ok, so bye for now. I have to prepare dinner.
She: I just started talking…I have so much more to say..
He: So you are saying that I should go to bed on an empty stomach after a tiresome day at office?
She: *expressions of despair* Hmm… I will prepare dinner for you. I just learnt how to make omelets.
He: You gonna take it up as ‘remote support’?

Mom of a techie had a sprain on her ankles. She had taken a week off and is on self imposed bed rest.
Mom: Hellooo…did u reach office? Did u have breakfast? Did he go to office too? What did you cook for lunch? Is that dress I sent you fitting you properly? Did you call your in-laws? How is his work?
Techie (diplomatically ignores all questions): Tell me fast what is the ‘current status’ of the pain on your leg? Any ‘issue’ ?

He is sleeping overtime on a week day, and she tries to wake him up. After a few minutes,of consistent shaking and poking, he responds.
‘Key in username and password’.

At never-ending annoying queues of the cash counter in a super market.
She: Why cant this guy buy lesser items? Why does he need 3 packets of tea powder anyways? Why don’t they enhance this by having more sales guys and counters?
He:‘ You’re right. It is a 'high priority issue’

Auto driver : ‘ madam Mere paas balance dene ke liye 2 rupya nahin hai’
Techie: “No issues”.

A techie friend on phone: “ Did you know about that new movie? SRK is the villain as well as the hero. He is a…... ‘global variable’.

Techie to the maid: Pick her from school, and bathe her first. Keep an eye on her always, and make sure she finishes her homework. If she asks for me, tell her that I will come home early today, by 11 pm.Else, if she asks for her dad, convince her tactfully that he is spending the night at office.Else if she asks for food, prepare her favorite dosa with ghee in it. END IF.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Being Anita!!

Friends at school and their moms call me ‘APC’, which is highly creative nickname, the full form of which I would definitely not want to disclose here, for the horror of being addressed ‘APC’ in the years to come. I’d been the youngest in the family for quite a long time, and during this period, my cousin and sister used to publish my innocent (read ignorant) childish dialogues .They would laugh their lungs out and say those to anyone who visits the house. I would find temporary hideaway behind curtains, mummy’s saree and squeal at the top of my voice. I was a terribly bullied little girl *sob*.

I grew up smarter than them all, and now I have tagged their blunders too and so I’m equipped with enough weapons in case I am quoted or misquoted at family get-togethers or family weddings. My name is often pronounced by elders within double quotes to this day .

Holy Angels was the place err school where I met an absolutely wonderful group of pranksters and soon I became one among them. Birds of a feather. We called ourselves ‘the notorious nine’. But from the mischief’s we got into and the grades we scored, I’m sure we would have earned some other name among teachers…however, we loved being us. The nun at the office room who was snow white in complexion and weighed almost 150 kilos was ‘Giant Panda’ to us, and we collectively forgot her name after we left school (Girls, if you remember, please let me know).Then there were guys at the tuition classes nicknamed Dola (Donkey look-alike), M2 (Man Mountain) …and trillions of censored stuff which remains girly moments of laughter in our great book of blunders. I can go on writing pages on the lighter moments we had at school, but it is reasonable to keep them with myself because, the tendency to write the blunders of others will be more, and triggering people sunk in work to wake up and start blogging about me is potentially dangerous to my image.

After school, I went to college, the dark days of my life, distressing moments which I would rather not remember, as, unlike what college days means to most of u, it is downright catastrophic to me. There is not a moment in it worth recollecting, apart from the fact that I did academically well by the grace of God. All four years at engineering college one good thing that happened to me is my best friend whom I met at my hostel there, and she continues to be the gem she was, till date.

I compensated my college life at the firm I joined at Technopark and had an inexpressibly exciting time there. Now at Bangalore, again with a bunch of big-time fun-to-be-with people, I am comfortable as ever, closer to the Anita I was at school.

I sincerely believe that I wouldn’t have existed in this world if it weren’t for this element called fun. I love all the poor jokes and adore the ones who say them! Who doesn’t, isn’t it? Yeah , I know people who doesn’t enjoy jokes and tag me ‘noisy’. I want to let them know , that life isn’t always fun, but remember, you can create fun from life, only if you want to. Ruling out fun is not the identity of entering into adulthood and it doesn’t mean that you are serious and wise! I love absent minded, fun-loving, noisy, jovial, total blunder packages err people.
Here are tokens of appreciation to you all. 

To the notorious Nine : Love u gals!! You made the best moments of my life so far and I am so lucky to be a part of such a prestigious gang !lol .. As a mark of this evergreen era, I treasure some stuff, which you can associate with..
• navy blue nail polish which we all sported the day after our school described nail polish as violation of discipline
• my uniform shirt which carries all your autographs
• the controversial autograph book of std 12
• countless friendship bands
• innumerable bday and Christmas greetings
• school magazines carrying our group snaps and articles,
• instrument box
• posters of SRK
I treasure these stuffs like jewels.

To my best friend at college: You are my family, I don’t have words to express what you are to me. If it weren’t for you, I would have been a totally different person today, worn out by bad experiences and complexes.

To friends at Technopark: Thank you guys, for being just like the notorious nine..You wiped off my misery of having spent totally freaky days at college. You created a college atmosphere at workplace and I sincerely don’t regret my college days anymore! Thanks a ton for being you..!

To friends at Bangalore : I really look forward to lunch and tea time, and I’m at my noisy best with you guys ! You are so cool and if truth be told, I consider myself lucky to still be in a multitude of like minded individuals!

Thank you all…continue to be what you are..! If you think I am a good human being, it is just because of the roles played by the people I mentioned above, in my life, and the memories about them which I carry. If you think otherwise, please attribute it to me. 

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