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Monday, December 2, 2019

Just Do It !

I may have wasted a lot of creative space on blogosphere bragging about my skills on…err...procrastinating. I am also a chronic over thinker who overthinks about overthinking. I had the innate need to be accepted and validated by everyone, much like Monica from Friends.

So one day as I was climbing a flight of stairs to my office, I started gasping for breath. I realized that my health was at its lowest point in my entire existence. It had already started the countdown to doomsday. I never really moved or bothered about what I ate. I was stressed, and lost a lot of hair, everything for matters that never added any value to my well-being or peace.

So this flight of stairs got me to overthink about my overall health. I was lost in thoughts and sank into an ocean of fear for impending issues like premature balding and anxiety.
One evening after work, instead of sinking into the couch to watch TV, I picked up my headphones, went to the beach, set my phone on airplane mode and started walking.  I read no article, nor did I listen to Sadhguru. I just pushed myself to the beach and after a long time, I felt my existence. The sound of waves, the wind in my hair and plenty of different faces was like swimming in the ocean after spending a lifetime in the fish tank. Once I was done, I sat near the beach side under the street lights and read until I was dry to drive home. I walked daily, most days landing home exhausted and hungry. A month later, I started running.

Running is not for the weak-hearted, I tell you. Initially when I ran, I was convinced that I was breathing my last. I said my last prayers. I worried for my son. I ran hardly five minutes and stopped as though my legs were falling apart. There were several runners in that area, all running as effortlessly as eating cake or giving free advice. There I was among them, literally battling for life, after running two minutes.This was a beach which was frequented by a health conscious crowd and no one stared or judged. I kept going.

I made it to two kilometers. Every day, I ran a little more than my previous run. On some days I shared it on social media, which garnered a lot of criticism. There were people who thought I was too thin to run and laughed at my achievements. There are still many who think I am showing off. I was motivated by my hubby and friends who are all marathon runners and they shared their achievements in social media which inspired me to step up and care for myself. In turn I shared my achievements with them who believed in me, gave me tips and pushed me to do better. If my update on social media inspires anyone to push themselves to workout, then I won. It is a matter of lifting each other up. This is not a competition or a race. Even a marathon is about finishing, it is never about who came first.

Me at a friend's house after I borrowed her book on
how to sleep better and posing in her indoor garden.
Today, I can run above 7 kilometers without wanting to call an ambulance. In fact I do it comfortably and enjoy it. As a result, I get uninterrupted sleep. I have spent years with little or no sleep and had turned into a night owl by habit. I borrowed a book from a friend on how to sleep better and stayed awake reading it.

I remain in good spirit during the day, and rarely have meltdowns. I am steady and not dramatic anymore. I stand tall and speak. There have been a lot of positive changes which I noticed in myself after I started working out and I love it. It is true that exercise can make physical and mental changes for the better.

Coming to anger management... I have massively changed from being angry to… okay don’t get me started on that.

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