Birthday Post !

It’s my birthday today, and I feel so immensely happy for all the wishes that keep pouring in since morning. Facebook reminders are so great and I love that because everyone can’t keep track of birthdays of all the people we ever came across, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t want to remember them on their birthdays. So yes, love you all, doesn’t matter who or what reminded you, thank you so much for wishing me!

My day started with the phone call from home which is mandatory to kick start my day. Well, my Mom literally kick started my life many years ago. However my little one was not pleased with the spotlight being shared, so he decided to throw a tantrum arguing that it was his birthday. I agreed with him because hey, sanity is more important than spotlight. My husband and I work in the same office so the inevitable question of what he gifted me was thrown at me at regular intervals. Well, he has not given me anything yet, but his deadline. ends at 7:00 p.m.

It was also the kiddo’s birthday last week, so ever since he had been using that as an excuse to save himself from serious punishments. He thinks his birthday is like IPL which goes on for two months every year. I also got a lot of wishes from Whatsapp groups, which again like I said are special, each one of them.

Sometimes I wonder how many people would wish me if not for reminders. I can say for sure that parents don’t forget, because they have a count of the number of years I drained them emotionally and financially. Spouse will remember in the initial years, and if he had forgotten once in between he never again will. Friends may or may not wish, depends on where they are and what situation they are in. I don’t judge anyone for not wishing me despite reminders that can crop up from any place you login, because now I am 21 and old enough to understand that not everyone is in a mood to wish or congratulate. I must say that the most special wish came from State Bank of Travancore. I am just hoping they’d surprise me with a gift only they can give.

Look how Google wished me !

Google gifted me a smart doodle without my age on it. Love you, Google.

I did not cut a cake yet, as it is a working day, and if I cut a cake, I will not get my finger on that fingerprint device on time. Now I am blogging so I am not saying it is a productive day. All important things including cake cutting is planned for the evening, assuming that my spouse will not drown himself in the numerous projects he is a part of. Well if he doesn’t turn up on time he will drown in a different way. ;-)

Everything is good about birthdays except the part where age = age + 1. Whenever that thought comes up, I just try to remember all my friends who took a minute off their busy schedules and wished me today...that they all turned a year older sometime during the year. We are all going down, my friends. 

Why, GOD, why did you do this to us? 

Are you a morning person ?

Image Courtesy: Here 

Morning people can't sleep for a second after the first ray of the rising sun hits the earth.  Then there are others, like me, who believe in the power of sleep. 

Our world is changing. People are trying harder to pretend to be broad minded, they are keeping their racist thoughts in their heads, and are openly gay. Morning people haven't made any progress in this department, and they  continue to taunt us happy sleepers with their narrow minded judgments. We should understand that choosing not to wake up early morning is a personal choice, which Ms.Deepika Padukone should consider making a video about.  Everybody has the fundamental right to sleep.

There are some myths morning people have about the normal ones, which call for some serious busting.

1.      Normal people are testimonies of poor upbringing.

 We were brought up very well; we get more things done waking up late than you guys. By the way what do you do waking up so early? Read the newspaper; listen to the news on TV, watch birds – none of which qualifies for good upbringing because you are judging sleeping people while doing all of the above. Whereas we sleep longer giving our bodies much needed rest and rejuvenate our skin cells in the process. If you notice, we have lesser dark circles around our eyes.

2.      Morning people are fresh.

LOL.

3.      Women must wake up before the sun does.

This is a concept that is as old as Adam and Eve, and those who agree with it should have been there in the Eden Garden (not the stadium) with them. These people were born so ridiculously late, that waking up early does not justify this unforgivable delay. Please go back to your times.

4.      Time Management.

I am supposed to reach office before 8:00a.m and mark my attendance using fingerprint system. Every day I reach around 7:59 a.m, hyperventilating my lungs out. Had I woken up earlier and walked to office before time, I’d never enjoy this incredible thrill of the machine recording my time 7:59 a.m. Have some adventure, people. Run. Laugh.  Have some sense of accomplishment.

5.      Rush.

About that. It burns calories. Contrary to popular belief, rushing through things does not make chores half done or anything. If you can do it, you can do it fast without compromising on quality. We are planning to take things slow when we are on wheelchairs with hair that has fifty shades of grey.

6.      Always Right.

Morning people think that they are always right. May be it has something to do with the first golden rays of dawn that is screwing them in ways they don’t know. Some guys bring out the sarcastic devil in them by saying women are always right, but my dear friends, the mere thought of someone being always right itself is not right.

7.      Ancient Proverbs.

Early to bed, early to rise, well you know it. Most successful people around the world have either been college dropouts or annoying back-benchers perceived to have no future at all. It is a valid assumption that they did not wake up early in the morning to meditate.

I could go on and on, but you get the drift. Do not feel guilty because you do not enjoy early mornings. Do not regret to have overslept. Live and let live.

Wait. It is a working day tomorrow. I have to sleep now so that I can wake up late. Okay, then.

Mirrors Don't Lie.

One fine Saturday morning I dragged myself from bed to the kitchen hoping to find milk in the fridge. I noticed that the lights were on in the living room. I wasn't surprised, as my husband cannot sleep a minute post dawn irrespective of when he slept or what he drank the previous night, or what day of the week it was. I opened the fridge and this very familiar nostalgic tune that emerged from the living room immediately caught my attention.

 It was our wedding reception video.

Unlike the wedding reception/whatever videos of all you people reading me, mine is not something I am proud of. The first time I watched this video, two weeks after my wedding reception, I cried inconsolably and vowed never to watch it again, ever. Seven years later here we were, back on that stage wearing something so hideous that it does not even have a name. Where we found such atrocious clothes, is a question among other things, I am planning to ask God when I meditate in the Himalayas.

The video was playing, guests walked up the stage handing us nicely wrapped gifts (clock, casseroles, and bed sheets of course) and smiled proudly at the camera with a sense of accomplishment on their faces. I admired how some ladies in my family had amazing sartorial choices, that they looked good even in a seven year old video. I then moved my glance back to where the spotlight was on. ME.

I do not understand what transpired in the head of this moron, who recorded the video that day. The camera settings, post processing, ancient grudge, criminal revenge, no brains whatever reason it is that made us look like lepers. Revisiting this video gives me a fresh bout of low self-esteem. I tell you, I looked better at my kid’s classmate’s birthday party last week than when I was a bride six years younger!

I look back at my school days, the photo albums from those times. It is all so incredible…I can’t stop looking at them or show them off to others. Was it because we wore uniforms instead of self-inflicted, detestable clothes? I do not know. Is it because the cameras were simpler and even a layman could take pictures without making the subject look like a monster? May be.

Was the wedding a wonderful day? Yes it most definitely was.

Does the cameraman deserve to go to hell? He most certainly does.

Image Courtesy: Here

I was still at the living room in my pajamas, disheveled hair and bad breath. My husband looked at the TV monitor and smiled amusingly at me. I returned a frown and a noise that sounded more like a roar. He looked around anxiously to find any possible flying objects. Some part of the screen got blurred; I realized I needed to wash my eyes. I walked straight to the washroom and noticed that most of my hair was somewhere from 30 to 50 degree angle to my head. I looked closer and realized that I looked better straight out of bed in a mirror that dint have any settings in it.

You moron cameraman, I will hunt you down some day. I will not be flossing that day.

When Drama Queen becomes Busy Bee.

It has been a busy month with school admission of my little kindergartener. Added to it, the emotional turmoil I went through because of the whole new environment he had to cope with. The thing is, everyone else in my house seems to be robots and none of these feelings are applicable to them. And that makes me drama queen. Well, it feels good to be the queen of something.

Image courtesy: Here

When my little fears and very reasonable nervousness are misinterpreted as drama, I can’t help but remember my maternal relatives, who have invented the whole concept of reality drama. They can terrify you just by laughing. The reverberations of this laughter can send ghosts with the most obnoxious laughter running back to their graves in shame. When they are collectively judging someone else, often mild tremors were reported, significant enough to be measured by a Richter scale.  You must have heard a quote that says one should never judge a person by their relatives. Right ? If not, just keep it in mind ;-)

So where do we draw the line between regular and drama? I am really curious to know WHO draws this line, because I am capable of coaxing that person into increasing the threshold. A feminist would say not to be ashamed of your emotions; tears are shed by normal human beings with feelings. A feminist will also slam the man who calls you drama queen because you cried at your son’s kindergarten. So, I am not a feminist and I feel ashamed of uncontrollable tears. But if my tears dampen the enthusiasm of the kid, then it is a totally different problem. The kid began to think that this was not a fun place and something real bad was going to happen. I exited the scene with my son looking lost. Just then, another kid ignited the loose end of a chain of explosive crying. In two minutes when I peeped into that classroom, all the kids were in tears and looking at each other for more inspiration. One of them took it real hard; he kicked his school bag and tried to escape. I may not blame him that is exactly how I feel some days at office, the difference being there is a laptop instead of a school bag.

The teacher, about my age, (which is 19) and the assistant teacher looked completely in control. If people got paid by the patience they required from them on the job, then kindergarten teachers would be paid highest. However our society decided that surgeons be paid the most even if the people they work on are already heavily sedated and surgical procedures are painfully quiet. Oh, well.

So things have been smooth in the kindergarten classroom ever since and the kiddo is now worried only about his clothes and has to deal with the mild disappointment that he is not allowed to wear his Lightning McQueen watch to school. This dial of this watch is so huge that it looks like a time bomb; hence I have forbidden him to wear it to school. Other than this minor glitch on the dress-up front, everything looks fine for him.

So during the admission paperwork and first-day tears, there was my hubby giving me NO support at all, and criticizing me all along for being edgy. And that is too much adult talk for a person who once cried like a baby in his sleep. I can’t think of another night in my life when I laughed so hard that I couldn't sleep till morning.