Motherhood Makeover !

When I was single, I thought my life couldn’t be better. And then, I got married. Then I thought oh it’s not that bad…its good atleast until a kid comes into picture. And then the kid came. And I am still the same with a few teeny tiny details changed.

• I hear myself telling the beautician that I’m unable to book a prior appointment, and my arrival depends on the mood of the baby and availability of my husband.

• I find myself in a rocking motion even when I am not holding the baby.

• Soaps and shampoos do not form lather on my hair or skin as they are washed off before that. I wonder what I did during my forty minute bath before. And what a lather looks like.

• Hormonal imbalances took half of my hair, and the rest were uprooted by my baby.

• At malls I make mental guesses of the age in months of any babies I see around and compare them with my own.

• I browse through babycenter as much as facebook and twitter.

• My mobile reminders consist of vaccination dates.

• I've given strict instructions to everyone in the house to talk in hushed tones when the baby is asleep.

• That guy who honks in front of our house exactly when the baby is sleeping is going to hell .

• My maid is trained to treat vessels like flowers so that no noise comes out of the kitchen.

• Packets with plastic covers which need to be opened while the baby is asleep either has to wait or will be opened outside the apartment.

• If the shoe polish is not found around in the last minute, baby wipes will be used. 

• If I meet anyone who has a baby the first thing I check with them would be about the pediatrician they consult, or about the reputation of ours.

• I started folding our clothes to form small squared lumps so that they fit in the corner allotted to me and hubby. The rest of the wardrobe belongs to the baby.

• I have stopped wearing watch, bangles or bracelets for the fear of hurting my baby as I hold him.

• I have also stopped wearing long earrings as when I wear them my baby thinks they are hoops to which he can hang on.

• I sleep at the edge of the bed. In fact I am almost hanging from the edge of my bed.

• I make international calls to my friends I've known since primary school and end up discussing about feeding bottles and baby utensils.

• I call my parents only to narrate what my baby did that day, as no one wants to know about me.

• In photographs people seem to see only the baby. To my parents I am invisible ever since he was born.

• I cant remember what the hell I used to talk with my close friends before.

• I have a baby poop stain in all my tops and tees in the washing machine.

• I sigh aloud seeing prices of bibs.

• I shop more at mothercare  than lifestyle.

• There isn’t any furniture in the house on which there is no hand sanitizer.

• If someone advices me about infant food or medicine, I reply quoting from WHO guidelines to infant feeding and supplements.

Oh now coming to think of it, these are not teeny tiny details. It’s a huge makeover ! I deserve a relaxing holiday. I need to get a  break. I should remember to discuss a vacation with my friends next time I call them. Wait. Don’t I have to check with them about baby walker? Wonder whether they bought it. Or is it time to get my baby one. Where is the phone. I will ask her right away. Ohh what was the other thing I wanted to discuss?